Why Leaders Can’t Afford to Lose Heart (for too long)

Why Leaders Can’t Afford to Lose Heart (for too long)

by | Self-Awareness

Why Leaders Can’t Afford to Lose Heart (for too long)

Photo credit Hillie Chan 
“Honestly, I feel like giving up on everything. Shut down completely.”

Have you ever felt like giving up?

We all hit low points in life, but sometimes we feed instead of starve them. 

That quote above was a recent tweet by Lewis Hamilton. He’s a British Formula 1 driver and the tweet comes from a series of posts he made recently that I read about in an article which sounded so sad.

I don’t know ANYTHING about Formula 1 but it seems Hamilton, who drives for Mercedes, either wins every race or comes in second place every time I hear about him.  

Wikipedia says Hamilton is in 2nd place for most wins in Formula 1 but it’s a dated page so he’s probably #1 by now. 

Anyways, Hamilton is a really big deal in the world of Formula 1 racing so when someone so accomplished shares such depressing thoughts like this it makes me think.

Hamilton also tweeted,

“Why bother when the world is such a mess and people don’t seem to care.”

 

“Extinction of our race is becoming more and more likely as we overuse our resources.”

The tweets were later deleted, but Hamilton was expressing his concerns with environmental issues he deeply cares about. But to me, this is more about someone “losing heart” than about the environment. 

And this isn’t just about Hamilton; it’s about all of us. 

Losing heart happens to all of us at some point (or points) in our lives. No one is immune from life’s random suckyness.

Okay, now I have to get a little spiritual with this post.

For those of you who aren’t Christian, have another faith, or just don’t believe in anything that’s okay. I’m not here to judge or convince you to believe what I believe.

I might be wrong too, but it’s what I believe. 

And I love connecting two seperate things to paint a bigger picture. Sometimes I make those connections with stories from the Bible. 

Hamilton’s tweets remind me of one of Jesus’ parables which I was reading last Sunday when I was teaching my kids something.

In Matthew 18:1 it starts off with–

 “And he (Jesus) told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.”   

Then Jesus proceeds to share the story of a widow who was seeking the help of an indifferent and corrupt judge who didn’t care about anything or anyone.

The judge refused to help the widow multiple times but she kept returning and pleading for him to do something to the person who wronged her. Finally, the judge relents just so that he doesn’t have to deal with this crazy persistent widow anymore.

Justice was served.

The main lesson of this short story is that we should never stop praying, asking and pursuing God’s righteousness.

And on another level this is connected to personal leadership too. 

There’s a lot we can pull from this story but I want to focus on the idea of being persistent and not losing heart as leaders.

It was her persistence in pursuing what she felt was right that made the difference.

In the Bible, “losing heart” is really code word for losing faith or hope (in God).

As leaders, we have a responsibility to keep our faith, hope, and even love up regardless of our circumstances or environment.  

But how?

You can’t expect other people to care about the same things as you. And we can’t lose heart when it seems everyone around us has given up because that’s exactly the time that leaders stand up and DECIDE to act.

If other people don’t care about the social causes you’re passionate about that has nothing to do with you. That’s your mission.

You’re the one who should do something about it; not them.

Maybe the world is waiting for YOU to act.

Waiting for others to care is just an excuse we use sometimes to make us feel better for not doing anything. It’s really up to you to keep your faith, stay motivated, and engaged with life.

Don’t leave that awesome responsibility to anyone else but you.

It’s true; there’s so much injustice, poverty, unfairness, and just plain old evil in this world. But that’s not where we should focus because it gets us nowhere.

As I wrote in my book, there’s never been a greater time in history to be a force for good. The world has never had such a shortage of positive leaders who do care.

Leaders are catalysts for taking positive action.

If you’re addicted to watching the news it might seem like the negativity is overwhelming. And that’s how the media want us to feel.

They want us to believe that in order for us to be safe we need their protection (content).

As leaders we have to protect our hearts (faith, hope, and love) more than anything else.

Why?

When the heart stops, everything else follows. And when leaders lose heart, no one is inspired to take action.

How can you lead others when you’ve lost all hope? It’s impossible. 

Even the most evil and destructive leaders in history galvanized their followers with the promise of some victory or positive change despite the destructiveness and evil attached to it.

I’m not saying to stop watching the news, but have you ever questioned how much is actually “news you can use”?

There’s so little about what we see and hear on mainstream media, especially social media, that is important, helpful, or even remotely useful.

Instead, how about consuming a steady diet of inspirational, motivational, or educational content you can use to make your life or someone else’s a little better daily?

As leaders, there’s a lot that goes into not losing heart. Like the widow, we have to remain persistent in pursuing those things that feed our faith, hope, and love.

Protecting our hearts from what we consume in media is a good start. There’s so much more to talk about with this subject…

So for now, what are you doing in your daily life to not lose heart? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who is Helping You Land on The Moon?

Who is Helping You Land on The Moon?

by | Leadership

Who is Helping You Land on The Moon?

Kenya’s Eliud Kipchoge, the marathon world-record holder, crossing the finish line in Vienna on Saturday during his attempt to run a marathon in under two hours. REUTERS / Lisi Niesner

65 years ago Roger Bannister did what medical professionals and athletes thought was physically impossible by running a mile in under 4 minutes. And recently, Kenyan elite marathoner Eliud Kipchoge achieved the world’s first sub two-hour marathon crossing the finish line at 1:59:40 seconds in Vienna, Austria.

Experts said it would be 80 years before someone broke the sub-2 hour marathon. Even other world class athletes said it was impossible.

A colleague recently told me that one her passions in life is not exercising. That’s exactly how I feel about running, so I had no idea how much of a big deal Eliud’s accomplishment was until I studied it.

Some compare this achievement to man’s landing on the moon and then returning back to Earth safely– but for sports.

After this monumental achievement, Eliud said,

“Today we went to the moon and came back to earth.”

But this wasn’t a regular marathon and Eliud isn’t a regular runner.

Eliud, who won 10 of his last 11 marathons, was specifically picked by Nike and the U.K’s richest man for this two-year project costing millions of dollars.

They searched the world for the perfect marathon and settled on the course in Vienna because it’s mostly flat and the weather.

Eliud was also cushioned by special Nike shoes called Vaporfly with a rounded front to reduce the bending of the toes to reduce energy loss.

He also ran behind a car that marked the road ahead with a giant green laser that was constantly indicating the necessary pace of 2:50 per kilometer needed to break the record.

But what stood out the was his team of 42 pacesetters who rotated in groups of 7 throughout the entire 26.2 miles. They ensured a steady supply energic runners ahead of him.

Several of those runners were elite world champions themselves.

The 7 pacesetters ran in a V formation ahead of Eliud had double duty since they also helped deflect the wind from slowing him down. He also had two behind him- not sure why though…

Eliud Kipchoge sub 2-hour marathon attempt

Kipchoge was surrounded by pacesetters during his marathon in Vienna. BBC Sport

One of the things that Roger Bannister and Eliud Kipchoge have in common are pacesetters. Without them leading the way it just wouldn’t have been possible for Bannister nor Kipchoge to break these records.

There’s just something magnetic about having another person ahead of you, but not too far ahead, that you’re trying to reach. 

For non-super athletes like us (or maybe just me), I compare these pacesetters to role models or people who inspire us to achieve just a little more than we are capable of doing on our own.

And thanks to online courses, books, Youtube, coaching, email, conferences there’s a way for us to identify and build our own personal team of pacesetters.

We can use them to help us in those areas of our lives we care the most about.

We can have pacesetters for:

-Having a better marriage

-Parenting

-Starting a business

-Writing a book

-Overcoming a divorce

-Better mental health

-Living debt free

or whatever makes your heart sing… 

The point is to not to go at it alone. 

In the United States, we love the idea of the “self-made” man/woman. The hero who does it all alone.

Magazines and especially Hollywood worship these people.

As I collect stories about great athletic, business people, and social accomplishments I’ve learned that these individuals have a team or at least one other person who helped them in some way whether by mentoring, inspiration, feedback or one piece advice.

When you read the entire life story of high achievers and remarkable people you’ll find they were helped by someone at some point.

Find some pacesetters instead of going at it alone.

This is especially true for the men out there reading this. Get the help you need. Everybody needs help with something, so stop trying to be Superman.

Find a role model, expert, a neighbor, a teacher, or someone who’s been where you want to go. 

Ask yourself: Who can help you in that specific area of life?

Reach out.

Life is too short to experiment on your own.

Admitting we need help is not something men can do easily. Our ego, pride, and culture often get in the way.

I was listening to a TED talk recently by Dr. Timothy Golden about the emotional pain and suffering that men hold on to and he said something that stuck with me.

He said,

“Men suffer in silence.”

Michael Jordan always had the best coaches.

Warren Buffett learned from his great professors and partnered with Charlie Munger who he considered being smartest person he knew.

Walt Disney was supported by his brother who was a financing miracle worker.

The list goes on and on. They all had someone helping them set the pace.

Life is the greatest marathon we’ll ever run and like Eliud, we’re not competing against anyone else. We’re competing against the clock.

Get help.

Run your race and keep striving for improvement in those areas you care most about.

So, can you identify a team of 7 pacesetters for your life who can inspire, educate, or guide you to your own historic moon landing and back?

On Being Consistent

On Being Consistent

by | Self-Awareness

On Being Consistent

Photo by @marcelschreiber on Unplash

My kids were using my laptop this week to listen to music.  Guess what happened? I don’t know what they did, but after they used it, my power cord stopped working.

It was an old and fake power chord (I didn’t buy the Apple version), so it was time to go. But the bigger problem was how to write and publish my blog post for the week without my laptop.

I’ve been publishing one blog post per week on Wednesday since July so it’s been close to 3 months where I’ve consistently posting. Three months isn’t a big deal for most people especially experienced writers and bloggers but it’s a milestone for me.

After realizing my kids busted the power cord for my laptop I briefly thought I was excused from having to publish something this week. But that’s the beauty of being consistent.

It’s not just about writing it’s about developing the habit of being consistent when you feel excused not to.

Leaders are no good to anyone when they’re inconsistent.

A common thread I’ve seen in the people I admire the most like Eric Thomas, John Maxwell, Pastor TD Jakes, and Michael Hyatt  is consistency. These guys were consistent in many areas of life including  with respect to working on their crafts.

These men have other things in common but let’s focus just on this one thing for now.

For example, Erick Thomas is known for publishing his “Thank God It’s Monday” videos to YouTube consistently on Mondays for years. He’s now the #1 motivational speaker in the world.  

TD Jakes, a preacher, author, and movie producer, has been delivering powerful sermons on Sundays for years and even after he became famous outside of the church world.

Michael Hyatt, the author and entrepreneur, started out by consistently publishing something like three blog posts per week consistently for years.

And John Maxwell, the leadership guru, both spoke and wrote consistently for years BEFORE anyone know who we was.

Consistency is like magic.

When you work diligently and consistently things just happen. You gain clarity, develop new opportunities, meet others who want to help you on your mission, etc.

You never know where being consistent will lead you.

I now realize there’s power in being consistent. When you lack consistency people can’t trust you.

And worst of all, you can’t trust yourself. 

I think many of us, or maybe just me, have taken being consistent for granted.  It seems like our brains easily look for excuses not to be consistent.

Can you imagine if I told my wife that this week we didn’t have money to eat dinner, but next week we’ll be fine?

Or imagine a husband who is faithful to his spouse most of the time.

Do you know my favorite statistic on Michael Jordan? He took the Chicago Bulls to the NBA finals 7 times. Do you know how many they won?

All 7. MJ was consistent.

There’s power in consistency.

Not just for sports, but for all areas of life from throwing out the trash to showing up to work on time, to spending quality time with your family.

The more we practice being consistent the more consistent we become. It’s a loop of positive habits.

 So, where in your life would it help if you were more consistent?

 

 

——

 Welcome back to this series on the three things we can learn from Nelson Mandela about positive influence. Go check out part 1 if you missed it. The idea for this series came from the book Playing the Enemy by John Carlin.  

 In “Playing the Enemy” there’s a story that takes place the day after Nelson Mandela won (May 10, 1994) the Presidential election in South Africa.  Just to add some context these were the first multi-racial Presidential elections in the South Africa’s history and many feared that the country was on the brink of a civil war based. 

The day after winning the Presidential elections, Mandela visited the office of the former President’s chief of staff. The former President was known as one of the key figures fighting to keep apartheid (according to Oxford dictionary- Apartheid is a policy or system of segregation or discrimination on grounds of race.) in place.

Anticipating his firing, especially with the start of the country’s first black presidency, the chief of staff was packing his belongings and preparing to move on when Mandela walked into his office and said,

“You know this job. I don’t. I am from the bush. I am ignorant. Now, if you stay with me it would be just for one term, that is all. Five years. And then, of course, you would be free to leave, now, please understand me: this is not an order. I would like to have you here only if you wish to stay and share your knowledge and your experience with me. “

 That was Mandela’s way of sincerely asking for help because he needed it. Of course, Mandela wasn’t an ignorant man from the bush.

Mandela was a trained lawyer, the leader the biggest opposition movement, the person most credited for bringing multi-racial elections to South Africa, and had brought much unwanted attention to South Africa on account of its apartheid system.

Oh yeah and he was the new President. 

So what can we take from this story?

  1. It’s Okay to Show Vulnerability

The first thing I found was that instead of relying on his newfound authority as President to force the chief of staff to work for him, Mandela did the opposite.  He relied on his vulnerability and not on his title or newfound authority.

Being vulnerable sounds so simple, but it’s hard for leaders to embrace. Why?

As leaders our natural reaction is to do the opposite. We believe that vulnerability is a sign of weakness so we do everything possible to avoid showing any signs that make us seem less than capable.

 However, when used at the right time and for the right reasons being vulnerable is one of those things that makes us most human.  It leads to connection. That’s a good thing.

 I worked for a boss once who would ofter ask for my opinion because he didn’t know something or wanted to hear from more perspectives. I didn’t think any less of him; it was the opposite.

 It was a win-win. I felt appreciated, included, and empowered. 

 Being fully human isn’t a sign of weakness. We need to stop pretending that being a leader means you’re perfect.  Needing help and not having all the answer doesn’t make you any less of a leader.  

 This realization is important because this helps build trust.

It takes courage to be vulnerable in front of others, to ask for help, and admit you don’t have all the answers. 

I’m not proposing that we go around just asking everyone for help and trying to manipulate others. You can’t fake vulnerability. Well I’m sure you can, but you shouldn’t it because It’s wrong and because people will see right through your act.

  1. Ask for Help When Needed

The second thing I picked up from this story and from Mandela was his ability to get the right help when needed regardless if they agreed with him or not. He didn’t try to do things on his own all time. There were times when he had to make decisions that went against his political party, but he listened first and then decided on the action needed. 

Mandela was very intentional about surrounding himself with the right people even if they did not agree him on everything. This is really important because we all have biases. Research has demonstrated that people feel more comfortable with people who look like themselves. 

But the problem here is that familiarity or comfortableness doesn’t equate to effectiveness. Mandela didn’t seem to care about that. He was more focused on the mission and getting the right kind of help instead of thinking he could do it on his own.

As leaders we have to stop believing in the myth of the “Self-made” person.  Everyone needs help with something.

  1. Put Your Ego Away

The final thing I picked up from this story has to do with ego.

You see one of the biggest problems or obstacles for leadership is you. It’s not other people, your circumstances, your goals. It’s your ego.

On multiple occasions Mandela put his ego to the side and focused on the greater mission. I think it was due to his focus on the bigger mission that he was able to ignore his ego.

Could you imagine asking your political rivals or people who you know distrust you for help? It’s hard to imagine, right?

The reason for this is because of our ego. Sometimes our ego is calling the shots so when it takes over instead of making decisions that make sense we focus on things that we think make us look good (smart, in control, etc) instead of doing what’s right.

When you put your ego to side it really helps us build trust and connection in addition to making better decisions.

Which one of these ideas comes easiest and hardest for you to apply? And why?

Why Did the Wright Brothers Succeed?

Why Did the Wright Brothers Succeed?

by | Self-Awareness

Why Did the Wright Brothers Succeed?

Start of a glide; Wilbur in motion at left holding one end of glider (rebuilt with single vertical rudder), Orville lying prone in machine, and Dan Tate at right, in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, on October 10, 1902. # Library of Congress 

I recently listened to the audiobook “The Wright Brothers” by David McCullough and loved it.  The author goes into painstaking detail to document everything Orville and Wilbur Wright did in the process of inventing the first human carrying flight machine, AKA the airplane in 1903.

But one of the things that stood to out me in their story was that during this time there were other inventors, academics, and entrepreneurs from around the world who were also in the race for creating the first successful airplane.

There were teams that were better funded, larger, and more experienced. One even had the support of the U.S. Government.

So how was it possible for these two brothers from Dayton, Ohio, who ran a bike shop, to beat all of these teams?

I haven’t studied the other teams in detail but I made 3 observations about the Wright Brothers that I believe contributed to their success.

1. They Were Focused- One Problem At A Time

What I found most amazing was how focused the brothers were on the process of building the plane and nothing else. Everything they did went to support this idea.

The Wright Brothers did it all without borrowing one penny. They had a successful bike shop and its profits were used to help support their dream. 

Other teams seemed to be focused on competing for more media attention during this time. They’d invite the press to see them work, they held conferences often to give updates, and to show off their attempts at flying. They seemed just as focused on building the plane as they were on getting the media’s attention.

The Wright Brothers worked in seclusion.

They intentionally picked Kitty Hawk which was a long stretch of land in the middle of nowhere Ohio and infested by mosquitos, because of its strong wind, massive size, and most importantly privacy.

They made a model, tested it, and when it failed they focused on the thing that caused the failure. Then they created a solution and started the process all over again.

It was a process of constant, but tiny improvements. Each failure brought them closer to the goal.

2. They Were Committed

The Wright brothers were committed to their vision. It wasn’t just about money or fame.

Of course, they wanted the financial rewards, but the sacrifices they went through, the constant failures and disappointments, and the ability to come up with creative solutions for technical problems they had never faced went beyond the simple desire for external rewards.

These guys were committed.

The Latin root of the word commit comes from two words: com and mittere which combines the words “to connect or combine” and “to release and let go”.

When you commit to something you are joining yourself to that one thing letting go of the rest. That’s why we normally use the word commitment when talking about marriage. 

The bothers were both equally committed to seeing their vision come to life. With every setback, failure, or broken part the brothers were actually getting closer to solving the problem of human flight.

At no point did their commitment weaken.

They were being led more by commitment than by their feelings, fame, or money. To me, commitment is one of those heart words because it defies logic.

In the book,  “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek, he credited the brothers’ success to them knowing their “why”. But to me it’s more than that.

This is more than just motivation or inspiration. I think it’s stronger than having a logical reason or explanation.

3. They Were Obsessed

I love the idea of quietly working on a big problem and gradually working away at it. The Wright Brothers weren’t necessarily smarter, harder working, or better funded then the others groups.

However, I got the impression they were more focused or maybe obsessed is a better word.  I know the word obsessed has a negative connotation, but it doesn’t have to be.

It all depends on what you’re obsessed about. Something people are obsessed with shopping and some with finding a cure to cancer.

You can be obsessed about things that matter. Or you can be obsessed about solving a big problem.

We’re all obsessed about something or things. Some of us have obsessions we haven’t recognized.

The Wright Brothers had a life outside of building an airplane. They had other interests and responsibilities in their communities, but their mission was crystal clear.

 So, what about you? Are you focused, committed, or obsessed about anything that’s important to you?

 

3 Things Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us About Influence (Part 3)

3 Things Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us About Influence (Part 3)

by | Leadership

3 Things Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us About Influence (Part 3)

Photo by John-Paul Henry

Welcome back to this series on the three things we can learn from Nelson Mandela on influence. If you missed them, check out part 1 and 2. The idea for this series came from the book Playing the Enemy by John Carlin which was turned into the movie “Invictus”.

 Of course, the book was 100 times better than the movie. 

After Mandela’s release from prison, the hard work of unifying a country on the brink of a civil war along racial lines was the priority. With a thirst for revenge in the minds of many it was Mandela’s hard task of not only unifying the divided country, but doing so in a way that respected both Afrikaners and black South Africans.

Not an easy task.

Mandela’s conciliatory tone, his willingness to work with the former President, and other hardline apartheid leaders was not easily accepted by his political party nor most blacks.

But Mandela believed that to prevent the country from falling apart he needed to get everyone on board and this meant working with those who were once his enemy.

Mandela, more than anyone else, would not have been blamed if he pursued an agenda of revenge upon his release, but his 27 years in jail led him to a softer approach.

He believed it was more conducive to be the catalyst that seeks not only to forgive first but to bring out the humanity even in those who defended the brutal apartheid system.  Mandela forgave BEFORE without anyone asking forgiveness.

Mandela’s decision-making was not based on polls, being popular, or political calculations.

It was based on something much simpler:

Doing the right thing.

 

But how do you know if you’re doing the right thing?

You know you’re doing the right thing when the decision is hard in the moment, but promises to make the situation better in the long-term. Conversely, poor decisions are usually disguised as the easy choice among hard options, but offers little to no benefit in the long-term.

Years ago, I met the CEO of a company at a party and asked him for any piece of advice. After rolling his eyes back and thinking about my question he said something along the lines of,

Do the right thing and you’ll never have to worry about the decisions you made.

Doing the right thing is about character. And character is a skill, which means it can be developed and even strengthen.   

In other words, doing the right thing is something that requires constant and deliberate practice.  

But how do we practice character?

I’m not 100 certain, but one thing I found that helps is doing the right thing even in those situations we feel are insignificant.

Is it easy?

No way, Jose!

But we can become intentional about doing it.

Unfortunately, doing the right thing is not popular, easy, or fun. But with practice, it gives us a sense of satisfaction and peace we couldn’t get otherwise. 

We sleep better too when we know we’ve done right by others.

I recently heard someone say that once he found a note on his parked car. The note was from the owner of another vehicle who had scratched his car on the way out. When the owner of the scratched car called the person who left the note he asked,

“Why did you leave the note? You could have left without saying anything.” 

The man who left the note said it was important for him to model the right the thing to do for his kids who were watching him.

Doing the right thing has a ripple effect.

Having character not only impacts our lives, but it affects others too. If we get into the habit of doing the right thing we will become people who build a reputation based on unshakeable character.

Those types of reputations are priceless. You can’t buy character.

Doing the right thing doesn’t mean we’re perfect. We are human after all, but it does mean we’re trying to live honest lives.

So, how important is it for you to do the right thing in your daily life?