How To Get More Clarity

How To Get More Clarity

by | Brand Building, Self-Awareness

How do you get clarity? What do you do when you feel stuck and need direction?

I recently wrote about how confusion can lead to chaos so this has me thinking about one of the best questions I know for developing more clarity in any area of life.

It’s a question so simple we often overlook it. 

We don’t ask this question as often as we should possibly out of fear of getting an answer we don’t want to face. But what I love about this question is that you can apply it to your marriage, career, business, health, or any area of life you feel stuck and want more clarity.

You ready for the question now?

Here it goes.

What do you really really want?

It’s that simple, but I suspect most people don’t know what they really really want. Even for me; I don’t always automatically know what I really want but when I invest some time into asking and then thinking about it things become clearer.

The problem is we are so busy we don’t stop long enough to listen to what we really want. 

 For example:

What do you really want your marriage to be like?

What do you really want your career to be like in 5 years?

What do you really want to be known for?

What types of people do you really want to associate with?

For my business goals, I can ask myself: What do I really want my business to be like in 3 years? Let me answer my own question. 

I want to have build a business and brand based on the following:

  1. Solving an actual problem (practical)
  2. Helping and inspiring people to become better (aspirational/impactful)
  3. I don’t want to exchange time for money so it should be scalable.
  4. I should be able to step away from the business and it continue running.
  5. It should be location independent.

Can I attain these goals immediately? No. But knowing what I want is like a compass. It’s giving me a direction to focus on.

The next step is creating a plan to get there. But in order to get there, I first have to identify and develop a few specific soft and hard skills to master over time.  In terms of soft skills I’m focusing on:

  • Communication
  • Leadership
  • Influence
  • Problem-solving

And for hard skills, I have to work on these:

  • Writing
  • email marketing and marketing in general
  • Web design

Despite being more comfortable with public speaking, the medium I’m thinking of using consistently is blogging.

Why am I considering blogging?:

  1. Free.
  2. Easy to learn.
  3. Helps me document my journey.
  4. I can do it from anywhere.  
  5. It gives me a chance to build a platform on my home base (my website) first versus other websites or social media sites.

I’m not 100% certain right now if blogging will be my preferred medium. The other options include vlogging and podcasting which I’m really curious about. But I want to start with ONE thing now and do it consistently.

Writing is like a filter that clarifies my thoughts before sharing them with the world. 

And the only way to find out which is the “right” medium is to experiment for a dedicated amount of time and do it consistently. Regardless of the medium, it seems like what I want to do is start building my own personal brand as some type of inspirational/leadership/personal development thought leader. 

I want to add value to the lives of others while providing inspiration, having fun, and not thinking about getting Facebook “likes” or going viral.  In the words of Pastor TD Jakes,

“I want to be effective and not famous”.

Based on my work schedule, finances, and family commitments I have to be realistic about what I can actually commit to in this season of my life. While I love public speaking and presenting the constant traveling is not something I can do right now nor something I enjoyed. And I don’t want to start a Youtube channel.

So I feel like writing, or to be more exact blogging, is the best medium for me to focus on right now.

Every medium has its pros and cons. There are millions of blogs out there so standing out will be difficult. But my goal for this blog is to be useful, practice storytelling, connect with others, and like David Goggins likes to say.

“Do something that sucks everyday”

So what area in your life could you use more clarity and apply the clarity question?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Make Adjustments Don’t Quit

Make Adjustments Don’t Quit

by | Brand Building, Leadership

To quit or not to quit.

That is the question.

But is it really? Are those the only two options we have? I think most of the time we just pose the wrong question. 

I spent more than two years writing my first book “Leader by Choice” and had plans of it being a great success and making wads of cash while going on paid international book tours.  Once I finished writing, I focused on the marketing and that’s when things went downhill. 

My plan didn’t work out so well.

Okay, I bombed it!

Actually, I didn’t have a firm marketing plan! And I didn’t come anywhere near to reaching my sales goals. In fact, I sell between 1 to 10 copies per month. While I’m grateful to sell a few copies per month this isn’t what I was expecting.

And worst of all, I’m still waiting for Oprah to invite me for an interview! 🙂 

Here’s a fun fact:

There are approximately six million books in Amazon’s Kindle store! Thousands are probably added EVERY SECOND (my calculation). I also learned the average indie publisher sells less than 100 books! That’s insane, but I now understand why.

Am I happy to have written my first book? Absolutely!

Did I learn a lot in the process? Tons.

I learned about writing, marketing, goal-setting, myself, and what doesn’t work. I also learned YOU CAN’T SELL WITHOUT A PLAN.

Most importantly, I learned how to use my writing to take control of my life’s story instead of running from it! Now I truly own my story instead of being ashamed of my past.  Writing my first book also gave me the chance to collect my thoughts, stories, and lots of material to use for public speaking. 

But this wasn’t a publishing success despite the fact that some of the people who read the book left awesome reviews. 

Where did I mess up?

Okay let’s rephrase that. So what can I do differently going forward? 

  • I didn’t reach enough people because I kept changing my marketing plan and never fully committed to any of them. SOLUTION: It would help to come with one plan and stick with you for a specific amount of time.
  • I have tiny email list, which I didn’t know (and still don’t) how to use. SOLUTION: Learn how to communicate with your subscribers before you have anything to sell. 
  • I was acting like superman by doing too much on my own . (The first few versions of the book had tons of typos and after making the changes I then uploaded the wrong version which had even more typos in it!)  Solution: GET A TEAM.

It’s so discouraging when you put so much energy, effort, and love into a project and then it flops. And that’s why I seriously considered quitting all of this online stuff/brand building stuff. I thought about giving up on my dreams of going into entrepreneurism and pursuing my goal of building a business from doing those things I enjoy most: making a positive impact in the lives of others through personal development, inspiration, and sharing leadership lessons.

Fortunately, I snapped out of it. 

It’s not first time I’ve thought about quitting and it probably won’t be the last, but I’m focused on doing things differently.  It’s like my virtual mentor Eric Thomas says,

“No quitting; just adjustments.”

Sometimes all we need to do is make minor adjustments and not huge changes. 

The biggest Mistake I Made

I’m going back to the basics and focusing on building a solid foundation first. 

Brick by brick.

The biggest mistake I made during this process was going straight to the dessert (self-publishing/writing a book) instead of starting with the main course (building a platform). 

While it’s tempting to focus on writing a book or whatever big product/idea you have the problem is that without a group of people ready to buy it it’s really hard to sell informational products online.

Can it happen? Sure. But will it happen? It’s unlikely. 

So why make it so difficult on yourself?

In life when you do the hard stuff first things are easier later on (not easy, but easier). It’s the same thing with selling online. If you do the hard work of building your platform and earning people’s trust first this will make things easier later on. 

Find Your Advantage

Most people have advantages they don’t recognize because they take it granted.

For example, my biggest advantage is that I have a good career. I earn good income, work with great people and have enough mental stimulation to avoid wanting to bang my head against my computer monitor.

This means I’m not desperately looking to replace my career with side-hustle income immediately so this gives me time to build my platform gradually without wondering if my family will eat. This give me the time to focus on doing the not-so-sexy stuff like:

  1. Building a platform.
  2. Producing content consistently.
  3. Learning how to use google analytics.
  4. Improve my writing which is not my strength.
  5. Learn how to communicate with my email list when I don’t have something to sell.

Nothing on this list is fun for me, but it’s necessary for the long-term. What about you? Are there any adjustments you can make in your life or business instead of just quitting?

 

Confusion Leads To Chaos

Confusion Leads To Chaos

by | Brand Building, Leadership

I’ve been in a stink lately with respect to my business goals. Ever since my book was published it’s become clear that I didn’t have a plan post-publishing my book.

One of the reasons I haven’t achieved my business goals is because I lacked clarity in what I wanted and my plan to get there. I haven’t been clear about my goals or my next steps. And I haven’t had something specific to work on daily that would produce the results I wanted.

All of this means I haven’t had much traction if any. So now I’m taking a few steps back to work on the basics.

And by basics I mean:

  • Clarity of what I want at this stage.
  • Identifying daily tasks.
  • Identify what is my next big goal.

One thing I’ve been lacking is knowing what skill to develop on a daily or weekly basis which I’ve learned is critical.

In the process of building a business, one of the things I’ve noticed from my favorite people is the importance of having a limited list of specific skills to develop through small, but consistent actions.

I noticed from some of the successful entrepreneurs I’ve been studying that they’ve focused on mastering one or maybe two skills first and then adding other skills later. 

They mastered ONE THING first. In the process, they developed multiple skills, but they’ve always had one core skill or foundational skill.

For example, Michael Hyatt spent years blogging which eventually led to writing books, paid speaking coaching, and also podcasting. But blogging is his main medium and skill. 

John Maxwell started off as the lead pastor of a church for many years where he developed his leadership, thinking and storytelling skills. I’ve heard him say that speaking is his foundational skill or his area of “giftedness” as he likes to stay. Despite him having published close to a 100 books, speaking is his main thing. In fact, he uses someone else to write his books. 

Eric Thomas, another Pastor, started by publishing one inspirational video per week to his youtube channel about ten years ago in addition to pastoral career. Today he’s described by some as the number one motivational speaker in the world. Since starting, he’s written multiple books, started a podcast, held live events, started multiple coaching businesses and other businesses as well. But speaking is his primary skill and video is his medium.

But focusing on specific skills isn’t just for entrepreneurs, it’s for regular careers as well. In fact, I just read about this in the book “So Good They Can’t Ignore You” by Cal Newport.

 I highly recommend it.

 Newport’s #1 rule is: Don’t follow your passion.

Instead of following your passion, Newport argues for what he calls the “craftsman mindset.” According to Newport, passion seekers ask themselves, “What can the world offer me?” But a craftsman asks

“What can I offer the world?”

 And by “offer” he’s referring to a specific valuable skill that’s in demand. He views these skills as “career capital.”

My favorite entrepreneurs/role models have been working on a few laser focused skills consistently for years and over time have become experts in specific areas. 

I want to decide on one skill to work on consistently and that’s where I’ve been stuck. The truth is I’ve been afraid of committing to one thing out of fear of missing out on all the other shiny objects around me.

But without clarity and focus there’s chaos and confusion the greatest tool for failure. If you can’t see your target how can you hit it?

I now realize we have the potential to be all over the place and in the process not stake a flag on any territory. With laser beam focus we waste less time to confusion, so we can get the right things done faster. We have a target.

 Do you have one or two skills that you are working to master? 

 

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Does Sleeping Make You Broke?

Does Sleeping Make You Broke?

by | Book Review, Health

50 Cent famously said,

“Sleep is for broke people.”

Is 50 Cent, right? The Bible even warns sleepy-heads against taking too many naps.

“A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest. Then your poverty will come as a robber and your want like an armed man.” Proverbs 24:33

As an early riser myself, I love 50 Cent’s quote, but my philosophy is different from Mr. Get Rich or Die Trying especially now after reading “Sleep Smarter” by Shawn Stevenson.  I think this was the first book about health, especially on sleep that I’ve ever read.

When I decided to read Sleep Smarter I was hoping to get a few tips on improving my sleep since I wake up at 5 am daily (almost) and sometimes feel wiped out by 6pm.

But after reading this, I feel like I just earned a university degree in nutrition, sleep, and health management. Shawn blew my mind!

I’m a big fan of practical advice but Shawn Stevenson took things to another level by making this book so comprehensive, yet so fun to read. His great sense of humor is sprinkled throughout this book. I learned a ton about health, food, exercise and how all these things are impacted by sleep.

The three most important things I learned are:

1. Sleep is critical to our overall health from brain function (memory and focus) to athletic endurance, our hormone balance and so much more.

2. The quality of our sleep is more important than the quantity of sleep.

Sleep Smarter can easily be called “Live Better.” I wrote down a bunch of notes from this book, but to help me focus and take action on the most relevant, practical, and realistic tips here’s my list of action items.

Some of these things won’t make sense unless you read the book. These are my 10 action items to optimize my sleep and overall health based on advice from the book. I’m only sharing this to hold myself accountable but feel free to use whatever makes sense to you, but get the book.

1. Shut down all screens at least 20 minutes before going bed and replace with it with reading or talking to my wife. (TRYING…)

2. Go for a short walk and or hold meetings outside when possible to increase exposure to sunlight. (STARTED)

3. Install Flux on my computer to turn down blue light (and consider using blue light blocking glasses when possible.) (Installed Flux)

4. Take magnesium supplements. ( Not doing consistently)

5. Keep my bedroom as dark as possible when sleeping.(STARTED)

6. Practice breathing exercises in the morning for 3 to 5 minutes. (Doing occasionally)

7. Go to sleep within 15 minutes of the same time each night. (TRYING…)

8. Lift heavy weights at least once per week. (DOING)

9. Don’t use my computer or smartphone in the bedroom. (I’m struggling with this one.)

10. Don’t talk about work in the bedroom. (In progress)

Oh and here’s the 3rd most important thing I learned. I disagree with 50 Cent. 

Sleep makes you rich since health is wealth.  The goal to maximize sleep and use it to support our overall health instead of just oversleeping. I heard Shawn say that all things being equal, sleep is the thing we can control which has the biggest impact on our health.

How is the quality of your sleep?

Are You Always Right?

Are You Always Right?

by | Leadership, Self-Awareness

I once heard a Christian pastor say to his congregation that one day they all will find out that they’ve been a little wrong about their faith. His intellectual vulnerability was refreshing and welcoming, but in no way did this mean he stopped believing in his faith.

It just meant he had the emotional and intellectual courage to express himself and his doubts.

This is the type of intellectual vulnerability that’s missing from many of the conflicts playing out these days on political shows, offices, and in living rooms.  I’ve noticed that when people disagree, including myself, we pretend to listen to the other person, but what we’re really doing is reloading our ammunition of arguments to defend our position.

Today it seems like “being wrong” is not an option. And the goal is to completely demolish anyone who has a different political view or opinion and this makes it practically impossible to resolve conflict because both sides are more focused on “being right” rather than on coming to a resolution.

When the purpose of engaging in a conversation is only to confirm that you were right nothing happens because both sides now fighting for intellectual territory. And the first side to make any concession will lose.

At times we get so caught up in “being right” that we don’t spend any time trying to see things from the other person’s perspective. That’s why after you see people passionately arguing about something it’s rare to see one person say to the other – “You’re right; I was wrong the entire time.”

If you can’t see a situation or conflict from someone else’s perspective it’s hard to identify what the real problems is and it’s difficult to have empathy. And without empathy, you’ll be speaking AT each other instead of TO each other.

Listening and trying to understand someone else’s position isn’t a sign of compromise, failure, or weakness. It’s a sign of empathy.

So how can we change our mindset so that during those highly emotional conflicts or arguments we can actually address the issue or at least identify the cause of the problem and not the symptom?

So what can we do about this?

One thing I’ve been doing recently is asking myself this question: “What if I’m wrong about what I have always believed?”

Asking myself this question doesn’t mean I’m giving up, avoiding conflict, or accepting the other person’s idea completely. But it does help me to think more clearly on why I believe what I believe and it also helps to better understand the other’s perspective.

If you are always right then how will you know when you’re wrong? Author Stephen Covey sums all of this up perfectly in his book 7 Habits of Highly Successful People when he says

“Seek first to understand.”