7 Habits of Ineffective Leaders

7 Habits of Ineffective Leaders

verversiocompanyThe sign, which reads ’we all quit’ and ’sorry for the inconvenience,’ was put up by angry staff members trying to send a message to upper management. Picture: Rachael Flores/Twitter 

“We All Quit” read the sign at the Burger King eatery after a group of employees all quit together, but before leaving they made sure to let everyone know.

 For months the news has been filled with stories about the sudden and large number of people quitting their jobs. So many people have resigned they’re calling it “The great resignation.” 

 What’s going on?

 Some of the reasons for the resignations according to the experts are for better employment options, higher pay, collect unemployment checks, to find more fulfilling work, etc.

 There’s no one reason… 

But one mantra that has been repeated for years started with the Gallup company which concluded that “People don’t quit companies, they quit bosses.” Gallup is a management training company so it’s not surprising they believe the solution is training managers. 

 However, other research shows that while managers matters; the biggest impact comes from organizational leadership. Bad bosses do have an impact, but  it’s not the main reason why people leave their organizations.

 But I’m not going to let you managers and leaders of the hook that easily.

 After leading an HR section for over two years, having had dozens of bosses over my career, and my own share of mistakes as a manager/leader here’s my personal list the 7 worst habits of ineffective leaders (and managers).

Working in an organization that requires moving to a different location/country every two to three years has given me the chance to see and compare tons of different management styles and personalities. 

 And one of the things I’ve learned is that becoming a great manager is really about transitioning to becoming a true leader.

I won’t go into too much detail now, but what I’m finding is that people don’t want to be managed anymore, they want to be led by good leaders.

 So, here’s my list of 7 highly ineffective things leaders (and managers) do. I’m guilty of most of these things so I’m not trying to act like I’m some leadership guru.

 In no particular order…

  1. The Micromanager: “I love being micromanaged” said no one in the history of work. Being a micromanager is absolutely terrible and inexcusable, but some managers still do it. If you feel the need to micromanage it means 1) you didn’t train the employee well enough, 2) you hired the wrong person, or 3) you have trust issues. All of those are the manager’s fault. Why would you hire someone to do something, but spend your time watching every move they make and dictating each step? You’re wasting your time, their time, and the organizations time. Cut it out!
  1. The Yes-To-Everything Manager: Saying yes to everything is not an effective management style. Being a yes man/woman backfires at some point because saying yes to everything means you’re saying no to other things. Managers who say yes to everything are inviting criticism and a lack of respect from their peers and subordinates because it shows they don’t have the backbone to say no to things that are not important.
  1. Mr/Ms Royalty: These managers are seriously confused because they act more like royalty so instead of leading they are giving edicts, demand unearned respect, and expecting to be served at all times. These people believe leadership is more about authority when in actuality it’s more about responsibility. They believe that those who report to them are beneath them. They take and don’t give. And they don’t produce anything of value.
  1. The Avoider: This manager avoids ANYTHING that could potentially be difficult from hard conversations, to terminations, to saying no to ridiculous requests. If you’re in a supervisory position you WILL have to make tough decisions and do things you find difficult and uncomfortable like addressing poor performance or disciplinary issues. Avoiding confrontations and potential conflict is not the solution. Serious problems don’t solve themselves. Managers who avoid doing the hard stuff are super annoying to work with. If there’s a jerk in the office it’s up to the manager do something about it; don’t expect your employees to handle it or put up with it just because you’re unwilling to do something about it. If someone is creating a toxic environment, the supervisor must stop it.
  1. The Un-Protector: Not sticking up for employees when they are in the right or when there’s someone causing a toxic work environment is awful. This in my opinion is the worst on this list. And even worse is a manager who willy-nilly blames his employees (everyone else) whenever something goes wrong. If something is going wrong in your team/section/organization and you’re in charge look in the mirror to find the problem. Take responsibility! If you don’t assume responsibility and fight for your people then why should they look out for you?
  1. The Know-it-All: It’s incredibly annoying when a manager/leader pretends to know something when it’s clear they don’t or when they feel all solutions should come from them. If you don’t know something it’s okay to ask for help, seek input, and even admit that you don’t know. You’re not supposed to know everything; you’re supposed to use the collective brainpower of those in your team to figure it out. I once worked with someone who would ask my opinion on how to address some issue. After the confidence boost of sharing my response, I was tasked with the execution of the plan I had come up with us. Was I being manipulated? Maybe, but it’s genius!
  1. The Confusion Maker: A long time ago I heard someone say, “Never ask someone to do something for you without knowing their name.” That stuck with me. When you’re in a leadership position, those people who work for you are under you care and not just your authority. It’s your responsibility to be as a communicate as clearly as possible and to set them up for success whenever you ask them do something. I’ve been on the receiving end of numerous messages/emails where I’ve had to gather a group together to decode what was I being asked to do.

Having said all of the above, no leader/manager is perfect. Leadership is a life-long journey. If you want to want to some help (coaching, inspiration or direction) for your leadership journey check out my book . If you prefer audio books check out this version.

Leadership Lessons From The South African Savanah (Bush) – Part 3 of 3

Leadership Lessons From The South African Savanah (Bush) – Part 3 of 3

Use What You Got

One of the first things we noticed on our first game drive was that some of the trees had their outer layer ripped off leaving the core of the trunk exposed. The trees looked like giant peeled bananas.

Marula tree after an elephant removed the outer bark.

Our guide explained that those were the Marula trees that produce flowers, sweet fruit, and sap. The local tribed called “Venda” use the Marula trees to make an alcoholic drink, coffee, brown dye color, anti-malaria medicine, and ropes. They also use the tree as a medium to communicate with their ancestors.

And the elephants love the Marula tree’s sweet fruit, but it’s the males who are destroying the trees. They tear off the outer layers with their tusks and then knock down trees. Some of this is done to show off in front of the ladies.

Since water moves through the outer layer and not the roots as with other trees, they die once the bark is peeled off.  Seeing so many dead Marula trees throughout the savannah is a sad sight.

The population of elephants in South Africa has exploded thanks in large part to the ban on hunting them and other conservation efforts. We crossed paths with one herd of elephants that had about 40 members in this family. The ground shooked so much it felt like a train passing by.

An elephant blocking our path.

Despite the destruction of so many of these beautiful Marula trees, the guide explained that one of the benefits was that the bare branches give vultures a place to rest, watch, and wait from.

Nothing Goes to Waste

Those dead Marula trees give vultures an excellent lookout point from where to spot their next meal. When the vultures feed on carcasses they are doing the animal kingdom a huge favor because some of those animals died from diseases that can easily spread when other animals feast on their dead meat.

Vulture looking out from the Marula tree.

Even in the destruction of the beautiful Marula trees nature has found a way of using that situation to benefit the animal kingdom.

And sometimes we can do the same thing with our worst or negative experiences because adversity and failure are gold mines for learning. Sometimes it’s from our most difficult experiences where we can learn the most.

This reminds me of the quote from Charles R. Swindoll who said,

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

It’s not so much what happens, but what we choose to do with those experiences that matter most.

If we interpret difficult experiences as the “end of the world” then that’s what they become. But if we’re intentional about taking something beneficial from those experiences we’ll find something there too.

What we get out of situations is a choice we make.

In the book Peaks and Valleys, the authors make a strong case for learning from high points, but also from the low points in life using the metaphor of you guessed it -peaks and valleys.

And to get out of a valley sooner they write,

“Find and use the good hidden in a bad situation.”

And the question these authors pose to those who want to better manage the good and bad times is,

“What is the truth in this situation?”

That’s a great question because it keeps us grounded in the truth and not in some of the destructive stories our imaginations come up with.

If we have a mindset that focuses on turning obstacles into opportunities we’ll always find something. I’m not saying we should just smile through our worst moments. That’s fake and unhealthy.

But when the tears have stopped flowing or after you’ve picked yourself up from the floor give yourself some time to reflect on what happened and what you can learn from that experience. The British author John Milton said,

“The mind is its own place and, in itself can make a heaven of hell or a hell of heaven.”


I want to give a special shout-out to the Ku Sungula Safari lodge in the Greater Kruger Park in South Africa. The service and attention my family and I received was amazing. The guides were so knowledgeable and passionate about the wildlife that they kept us engaged on each of our 3-hour game drives. There was never a boring moment. If you’re looking for a safari adventure please check them out. No one is paying me to say this.

Leadership Lessons From The South African Savanah – Part 2 of 3

Leadership Lessons From The South African Savanah – Part 2 of 3

Image credit Jean Wimmerlin on Unsplash

Your Unfair Advantage

All of a sudden, the driver of our safari truck steps on the gas pedal and we take off! He’s anxiously speaking with the guide in their native language.

This is an evening safari drive and it’s dark the only things we can see are the car’s headlights and the stars. The guide, who is sitting on a special exterior seat near the front bumper is moving his flashlight quickly from left to right.

I think we’re chasing something, but we don’t see anything.

We’re moving so fast I thought an elephant was chasing us so I looked back just in case…

My wife and I are freaking out a bit because we don’t know what was happening, but my kids are having a blast.

Then the guide aimed his flashlight at a small bush about 20 feet away and with a combination of a whisper and controlled excitement he says, “LEOPARD!”

And there it was.

Seeming to magically appear out of the darkness, we see a beautiful leopard the size of a medium-sized dog. It gracefully maneuvered and contorted its body through the branches of a large bush only to position itself in a way that it could get a better look at us, but also pounce on us if necessary.

The driver slowly positioned the vehicle so that I was now about 10 feet away and directly in front of the leopard, which was now making direct eye contact with me.

For the next five minutes, we were frozen. We all stared back in quiet amazement appreciating the beauty of this magical creature.

And just as easily and as quietly as it appeared, the leopard was swallowed into the night. Off it went in search of its next meal.

One of the most amazing things about the Savanah is that even among all of these dangerous predators like the leopards, the hyenas, crocodiles, and even the eagles occasionally you’ll find a tiny animal living like a rabbit (Hare) living in the midst of this unforgiving environment.

Or you’ll see something that looks like a baby impala (called a Steinbuck) that’s no bigger than a puppy.

This is an impala, but an adult Baby Steinbuck looks just like this. Image Courtesy of Dianne Gibson.

We also spotted tiny chameleons on the ends of branches and guinea fowls (also called African chickens).  

On multiple occasions, I said to myself, “There’s no way this little animal should be alive here.” 

We ran into these hyenas. These guys are always looking for something to snack on.

How are these tiny creatures surviving in an environment where there are predators all around?

But not only do these vulnerable animals survive, but they can also thrive despite being surrounded by larger predators 24/7.

THE UNFAIR ADVANTAGE

All of these animals have a special skill or super strength, especially the smaller ones. They have at least one natural ability that gives them an unfair advantage in the wild.

The hare runs in a zig-zag pattern making it almost impossible to catch.

The baby steinbuck antelope is so small that it’s hard to spot among the high grass, but if you get close, it can jump over high bushes.

The chameleon is a master of disguise with its ability to blend into its environment by changing its color and even texture.

They all have something that gives them an unfair advantage.

YOUR UNIQUE ABILITY

How much time do we, humans, spend thinking about our strengths or those abilities that give us an unfair advantage?

Some people display artistic abilities from a young age, but for the rest of us, our strengths are a little less obvious and so natural we don’t see them as special or unique.

The business coach, author, and entrepreneur Dan Sullivan describes this as a Unique Ability and it has four characteristics:

  1. Superior skills
  2. Passion
  3. Energy
  4. Never-ending improvement

What is that thing you do so well that others ask, “how do you do that?”

What do others ask you for help with?

There are tons of questions like this that help us gain a better understanding of what our greatest strength is.

Unfortunately, our society and educational system focus on our weaknesses. Sometimes we spend so much energy thinking about and working on our weaknesses that we lose focus of our strengths.

John Maxwell says,

“Go with your greatest assets; don’t waste your time.”

I told someone at work once that evaluations should identify employees’ strengths or unique abilities instead of their areas for improvement because no matter how much time we invest in our weaknesses we’ll never become excellent at them.

My colleague disagreed.

John Maxwell also said, “Working on a weakness within a strength zone will always produce positive results. Working on a weakness outside of the strength zone will not.”

This doesn’t mean we ignore weaknesses. We should manage them, but investing all of our time there will not give us the best Return on Invest (ROI).

When you think about your strengths, your strongest interests, and what makes you unique you start exploring your unfair advantage.

So what’s your unfair advantage?


I want to give a special shout-out to the Ku Sungula Safari lodge in the Greater Kruger Park in South Africa. The service and attention my family and I received was amazing. The guides were so knowledgeable and passionate about the wildlife that they kept us engaged on each 3-hour drive. There was never a boring moment. If you’re looking for a safari adventure please check them out. No one is paying me to say this.

Leadership Lessons From The South African Savanah (Bush) – Part 1 of 3

Leadership Lessons From The South African Savanah (Bush) – Part 1 of 3

Image credit Jean Wimmerlin on Unsplash

Waking up at 5:00 AM while on vacation is probably not what most people would consider an ideal vacation, but this is a different kind of trip.

It’s a safari.

Our guides, dressed in green military-like uniforms are waiting for my family and me with hot chocolate and coffee. We’ve been on several safaris in South Africa, but this was our first overnight trip and our first time in the Greater Kruger Park.

View from the back of the safari truck.

During overnight safaris, you leave around 5:30 AM for morning drives and then again after 6:00 PM for the evening drives, and on each, you get to see different types of animals.

Driving around for hours on dirt roads and in total darkness at times in an SUV without windows, doors, or a roof puts you in close contact with the wild so it can be a humbling (sometimes terrifying) experience.

And while observing nature and the wildlife, I made some connections with life and leadership. I couldn’t help myself; these ideas and connections just come to me.

I had a similar experience when I went trekking in Rwanda to find mountain gorillas.

The larger animals like the lions, hyenas, and black Rhinos are at war every day. The males venture out daily to mark their territories with urine and/or feces and patrol the perimeter. This lets other animals of their specifies know not to enter that zone or else it’s a fight to the death!

Despite the “Do Not Enter” signs and the patroling, these animals are constantly going out to attack others of their species to get their females or territories or both.  

The lions for example will attack another pride and if they win, they keep the females and the land, but they kill all the cubs ( to eliminate any chances of revenge).

We got too close to these lions.

There’s no mercy in the savannah (South Africans call it ” The Bush” by the way).

These animals live in a state of either protecting their territories and their families or challenging others for what they have. It’s in their DNA.

Even lions raised in captivity for generations that don’t need to hunt or territory will still try to take over another pride. It’s in their DNA.

So here’s the lesson I got from nature.

Challenge or be challenged.

Have you ever noticed that when you do the hard stuff sooner (the things you least want to do), life becomes easier? I define the “hard stuff” as those things you least want to do, but you know that it’s the best thing for you in the long term.

This reminds me of the quote from motivational speaker Less Brown who said “If You Do What is Easy Your Life Will Be Hard. But if You Do What is Hard Your Life Will Be Easy.”

When we challenge ourselves to not settle, to go after big goals, to ignore the critics, or to pursue the things we really want instead of just accepting the scraps thrown at us we make life harder on ourselves.  

But there are different types of hard. The had that I’m talking about is good for us. This is positive stress.

If you don’t find a constructive way of challenging yourself and doing the hard stuff, life will do it for you.

In the short term, it’s a lot easier to sit back and binge-watch Netflix every night and avoid doing the hard stuff. But what’s your Return on Attention (ROA) for that?

What do you get when you take the easy road?

Whether you challenge yourself or just coast, life will bring difficulty. But when we intentionally challenge ourselves by doing the hard stuff we are choosing the difficulties that benefit us.

This reminds me of Winston Churchill’s famous quote,

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm”.

There’s the pain of regret that comes from realizing you didn’t go after the life you wanted and the pain that comes from chasing those big goals and dreams. But only one is meaningful and fulfilling.

There’s no right or wrong answer to this next question. It all depends on what you want out of life.

Are you challenging yourself or just going with the flow of life?


I want to give a special shout-out to the Ku Sungula Safari lodge in the Greater Kruger Park in South Africa. The service and attention my family and I received was amazing. The guides were so knowledgeable and passionate about the wildlife that they kept us engaged on each of our 3-hour game drives. There was never a boring moment. If you’re looking for a safari adventure please check them out. No one is paying me to say this.

Good Leaders Vs Nice Leaders

Good Leaders Vs Nice Leaders

 Image Credit: Jacqueline Munguía

You can be a good leader or a nice leader, but you can’t be both.

Nice leaders have a major weakness. They prioritize acceptance and agreeableness over effectiveness.

How do I know? I learned it from personal experience.

Years ago, after joining the Foreign Service, they sent me to Kigali, Rwanda for my first assignment. Fresh out of graduate school, I had some work experience but never supervised anyone.

Yet, I found myself leading a 30-person team overnight with no direction from a direct supervisor since that position was vacant.

Have you ever looked back at your life and thought, “That was dumb. Why did I do that?”  Today, it’s easy for me to recognize so many of the mistakes I was making.

But there was one leadership mistake that stood out.

At the time, I had no idea what leadership was so I assumed all I had to do was be nice to my employees and everything would work out. I saw leadership as a popularity contest where the goal was to be accepted or liked by everyone.  

That was dumb!

I was scared to call people out.

I avoided tough conversations.

I was as soft as a pillow.

But over time, I realized that good leaders aren’t competing for popularity, acceptance, or being liked.

Being a nice leader and being a good leader are not the same.

When we think about great leaders the words that come to mind (at least for me) are:

  1. Disciplined
  2. Great communicator
  3. Ethical
  4. Courageous
  5. Action-oriented
  6. Focused
  7. Determined
  8. Resilient
  9. Mentally tough
  10. Empathetic

Being nice didn’t make the list.

When being nice, liked, or accepted becomes your goal as a leader you lose the very thing you’re trying to accomplish- influence, respect, and authority.

One of the recurring themes I’ve discovered over the years is that leadership has a lot to do with doing the opposite of what one feels is the easiest thing to do. That’s why leadership sucks.

Yes, it sucks!

Leadership is a constant battle with oneself to do the thing you least want to do—the hard stuff!

You know…

Those hard conversations you’ve been avoiding, firing someone, admitting you made a mistake, putting your ego to the side, etc.

These are unpleasant things to do. Leadership is hard and can be lonely at times. It’s not glamorous. The biggest problem nice leaders have is that they can’t do the hard and uncomfortable stuff.

These are some of the hard things nice leaders struggle with:

  • They can’t say no.
  • They can’t keep high standards.
  • They don’t communicate their boundaries.
  • They don’t advocate for their desires, ideas, or aspirations.
  • They don’t want to disagree with others to “keep the peace”.
  • They don’t ask for what they want.
  • They see all conflict as negative so they don’t confront when necessary.
  • They say what others want to hear instead of the truth.
  • They put up with stuff they know they shouldn’t.

Avoiding the nice leader trap doesn’t mean we need to be jerks (check out my post on Elon Musk). And being nice doesn’t mean you’re being effective either.

An alternative to being nice is being kind.

There’s a big difference between being nice and being kind. Nice is a neutral position that’s reactive, passive, and doesn’t require much thought. But being kind on the other hand takes intentionality because proactive. 

And one of the most powerful tools leaders have is love. When you love or deeply care about someone, your team, or something you will go above and beyond for that thing.

The most effective and respected leaders are known for things like love, passion, and character. Niceness is not a leadership tenet.

It’s a trap.

Is your leadership style focused on being nice or being effective?