by Andres Valdes | Leadership, Productivity
Image courtesy of http://www.ranzey.com/generators/bart/index.html
January 1st is in the rearview mirror. Do you remember the goals and resolutions you made in January?
I’m human too so I know what it’s like to start the year with great life-changing goals and resolutions only to see them fizzle out after a few weeks.
You’re not alone; this is totally normal. Staying focused on our goals is not easy. You have to be totally intentional about it.
Gyms sell close to 90% of their memberships in January with the expectation that the majority of the people who signed up will stop coming by February and March
Over the years through trial and error, I’ve learned that goal-setting is both art and science. It’s an art because you need a process that is personal and works for YOU.
And it’s a science because there’s a lot of research out there on the most effective and ineffective ways of setting and executing goals.
I don’t have to tell you this, but if you’re reading this you know the importance of setting goals. The problem isn’t lack of information, the real issue is most of us don’t stick with our goals throughout the year.
It’s hard to stay committed to long-term goals because life gets messy. We get busy, take new responsibilities, have major life changes, or get distracted so we gradually take the easier path and go back to our regular routines.
Two things to keep in mind.
- Human beings are more emotional creatures. Emotions play a huge role in determining what actions we take or don’t take. Personal development guru Jim Rohn said, “We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.”
So here five things that are helping me keep stay focused on my goals.
WRITE IT DOWN
“People forget, but paper remembers.” I know this is captain obvious, but you MUST write down your goals. There’s a lot of research showing that people who write their goals have a higher chance of accomplishing them.
When I used to make New Year’s resolutions I never wrote them down. I filed them away in my mental cabinet which is so good I never thought about them again.
And to take it further, you can write down your goals weekly or even daily.
LESS IS MORE
When I started taking goal setting seriously I focused on 7 to 8 goals per year. The more the better, right?
Wrong.
You can do more by focusing on less. Goal-setting is a highly personal thing so while focusing on 7 to 8 goals can work for some people, it also makes it much harder to focus.
Let’s be honest. If it’s hard to accomplish one goal now, can you really achieve 7 or 8 really important things at the same time?
I don’t know if there’s a magic number, but thanks to a push from psychologist Dr. Benjamin Hardy, I’m focused on just three goals. Just thinking about the difference between 3 and 8 makes me feel better (remember we are emotional beings).
SEE YOUR GOALS DAILY
On top of writing your goals, put them in places where you’ll be forced to see them. Write them on a 3×5 card, a notebook, or on a piece of paper you carry in your wallet/purse. David Goggins puts them on his accountability mirror.
On the front of a 3×5 card, I wrote my big three goals for the year and on the back, I wrote my big three smaller goals (targets) for the month. I leave the card in my daily planner so that each time I open it I’m forced to pick up the card (this is what behavioral scientist BJ Fogg, author of Tiny Habits, calls a “Prompt” which is something that forces you to remember to do a certain behavior.)
JOURNAL ABOUT YOUR GOALS
When done intentionally, Journaling has amazing benefits and can be a great tool for gaining clarity. When writing about one’s goals or future, putting pen to paper helps cement those ideas in your head.
You can journal about your progress towards achieving those goals. You can describe what it will feel like after you accomplish your goals.
You can even journal as if you’ve already achieved your goals.
USE AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER
Share your goals with one person you trust or a small group of close people and that will put some positive pressure on you. And if you want to take it to the next level, give that person or group permission to ask you about your progress.
To take it even further, send them a check for $50 (or some painful amount) and tell them that if you don’t accomplish your goals they can cash it.
These five tips don’t mean I will execute on my goals, but by simplifying them and keeping them top of mind it makes it much easier for me to accomplish them.
What are you doing to follow through on your goals?
by Andres Valdes | Self-Awareness
Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
Zig Ziglar said, “Paper remembers and people forget.” I want to remember what I learned in 2020 so I’m writing and sharing it.
Here we go….
Keep The Choas Outside, Not Inside
Throughout 2020 I was healthy; I was never sick, not even a simple cold. No one in my home caught COVID. And those in my extended family who did get it came out okay.
Despite things being relatively good for me, there were still a few stretches in 2020 where I was down. Not with the flu or COVID, but I was down emotionally and felt overwhelmed with anxiety (like millions of others).
With the endless media stream of pending financial doom, concerns with COVID and the lockdown, a summer of protests/riots, family stuff, adjusting to working from home, and the stress of an election year it all took a toll on me.
But I was able to decompress and talk about things with friends, family, and my wife and that helped. A lot. Prayer, exercise, and retreating into the mountains for a week with the family was a huge stress relief and a recharge.
I learned I don’t have to internalize the world’s chaos. There are tools and habits we can use to remain at peace, focused, and excited for the future despite the craziness around us.
For me, getting better sleep, prayer/meditation, digital detox, daily exercise even if just the 7-minute workout, talking with friends and family all lower anxiety.
Focus on the Results and Not the Decision
Years ago as a Consular Officer I was responsible for interviewing about 60 people per day who wanted to visit the U.S. It was my job to weed out those I suspected of trying to remain in the U.S. without documentation (illegally) or had some ulterior motive for the travel.
These interviews lasted on average between 5 minutes max and after a few months of interviewing, you realize that more time doesn’t make for a better decision.
Life is similar. Making good decisions is critical, but I don’t need to overthink it or spend months deciding because more time doesn’t automatically mean better decisions.
Sometimes we get so consumed by the decision itself (maybe it’s just me) that we don’t think about the results until it’s too late.
I heard someone say, “Make a decision and then make it right.” Even good decisions can turn out bad or not have the impact we intended if we don’t work to make them right.
How do we make our decisions right? Steven R Covey famously explained “Start with the end in mind” in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He’s right.
I have to focus on the results I want first and then process. I’ve been focusing more on the process.
Here’s are two good questions to ask:
What are the results I’m looking for?
Am I getting the results I wanted from my current habits/efforts/plan?
Good intentions are worthless if the results are garbage. I can spend two hours cleaning my kitchen after dinner, but if my wife and kids find crumbs on the table the next morning then my results were terrible.
Having a framework for making good decisions is great, but after we make a decision we have to focus on getting the necessary results.
Don’t Let Others Dictate Your Self Worth
As a recovering people-pleaser, this is something I’m still learning. It’s okay to let people down, to say “No”, make mistakes, and disagree with others.
I don’t have to change my opinion to be more accepted. And I don’t have to make myself available for everyone every time they need me. Sounds selfish or ruthless?
Well, it is. A little.
But that’s okay. I have to be ruthless about protecting my time and my self-perception.
If someone is disappointed or doesn’t like me it’s not fun, but that’s okay. I’ll survive. My self worth and confidence shouldn’t be predicated on someone else’s opinion or how much they like me.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” And no one has my consent.
I just have to do the best you can, apologize if I messed up, and then move on with life. My mentor, Zig Ziglar, said, “The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself and the most significant things you say all day are those things you say to yourself.”
We Create Tomorrow Today (Future Self)
As I wrote in my book Leader by Choice, we are human BEINGS and not human DOINGS. However, many of us focus on a snapshot of our current circumstances and forget that life is constantly changing and all we have overcome and achieved.
Instead of only focusing on where I am today and how far my future goals seem I can enjoy the gains I’ve made and who I’m becoming. I’m learning to be more present and enjoy where I am even if I’m in the valley.
Instead of looking at ourselves via one snapshot in time, I heard Dave Evans, the professor, and co-writer of the book “Designing Your Life” explains that it’s more helpful to see ourselves as constantly “Being, Doing, and Becoming”.
Where we find ourselves today is not the end.
“Being” is an ongoing process where we can choose to be today the person we want to be tomorrow. I get to decide who I am becoming.
We can create our tomorrow by having a vision or drawing a mental picture of the person we want to become and taking tiny steps in that direction, but in the meantime, we can be present and enjoy how far we’ve come.
How do we do this? By creating “Tiny Habits” that reflect the new behavior we want to implement and reflecting on our desired future self.
To walk towards that vision we need to be and act today like the person we want to become tomorrow. Zig Ziglar loved to repeat, “We have to BE before we can DO. And we have to DO before we can have.”
But it all starts with being.
So what did you learn about life in 2020?
by Andres Valdes | Leadership
Photo by Riccardo Annandale on Unsplash
“It’s vision.”
That’s what Lewis Howes, the entrepreneur and host of the “School of Greatness” podcast answered when asked on the Bigger Pockets podcast what the greats have in common.
Howes has interviewed hundreds of people who have achieved remarkable things so when he says something like this I pay attention.
I don’t know if it’s because it’s 2020 or the “year of vision”, but this topic keeps coming up. The impact of vision has become so apparent that I see its effect everywhere.
I see it in Elon Musk’s quest to bring human life to mars.
We can see it when we listen to Martin Luther King Jr’s, “I have a dream” speech.
At the grand opening of Walt Disney World in Orlando, a reporter said to Lillian Disney (Walt Disney’s wife) that it was unfortunate that her husband could not be there to see it finished (Walt Disney had since passed away). And she responded by saying he saw it more clearly than anyone else.
When Nelson Mandela was released from prison and he spoke about a “rainbow nation” of united people in South Africa that was vision.
Born blind and deaf, Hellen Keller would fight her way to becoming an activist for several social causes, a speaker, and an author. She famously said, “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision”.
The bible says in Proverbs 29:18 says that without vision the people perish. And there are over 130 scriptures that mention vision.
But what is vision?
Merriam Webster defines vision as “a mode of seeing or conceiving”. But it’s more than that.
I’m listening to a book called “How to Stay Motivated” by Zig Ziglar (deceased) one of my favorite people of all time by the way and in it, he shares my favorite definition of vision when he describes it as “a clearly articulated results-oriented picture of a future you intend to create.”
The key word here is YOU.
The future YOU intend to create.
But if vision is so impactful and critical then why do so few of us have it?
I heard leadership guru Simon Sinek say that not all of us are visionaries so we can’t have a vision. But I disagree.
I’m starting to think that we all have a vision for life or a picture of the future, but that image is not always one that we have carefully and intentionally designed.
Is it possible that some of us have attached ourselves to personal visions that limit or even prevent us from reaching our potential or having better lives? I think so.
So how can we create a mental picture of an aspirational personal future? And if this tool or ability is freely accessible to all then why doesn’t everyone do this naturally?
What’s your spark?
One possible reason we don’t instinctively create compelling personal visions is that we are lacking a creative or inspirational spark that comes from some type of experience (both positive or negative).
We need something to inspire us or wake us up to override the default mental programming we’ve involuntarily downloaded from social conditioning, cultural expectations, past experiences, and perceived limitations.
So how do we create a spark that inspires a compelling personal life vision? I’m not sure but I have some ideas. This would be a great problem to solve, so I’ll be obsessing over this for the next year and I’m thinking about writing a book on this topic.
But aside from those unexpected experiences that force us to look for a better future, other sparks can be asking good questions that make us think about the future we want to create. We can also get this spark from
- Journaling
- Take some downtime to reflect on the future
- TedTalks and great conversations
- Great books
- Coaching
So, how are you creating a tomorrow that is bigger and better than your today?
by Andres Valdes | Leadership
Image Credit: Howard Bouchevereau on Unsplash
For years there’s been one ongoing debate in the basketball world. Who is the GOAT? Is it Michael Jordan or Lebron James?
Sports broadcasters debate this on-air, athletes argue about it in locker rooms, and even friendships are strained because of how passionately basketball fans feel about this question. A colleague and I have been debating this for a year every time the question comes up.
So, who is the GOAT?
While Jordan is still my favorite there is one area in which King James is truly untouchable.
Lebron has been playing in the NBA for over 17 years. But years playing can be deceiving because for mere mortals the final years are normally spent on the bench or just playing a minor role. Most Jordan fans easily overlook his final year playing with Washington Wizards; we don’t count that time when we talk about “the Jordan years”.
But for King James; his statistics show that he’s still getting better despite being well past prime years for basketball. His scoring, field goal percentage, and his assists are all better now at age 34.
And the scariest part is that we don’t know if he’s reached his peak yet. This isn’t humanely possible.
When is comes to consistently performing at the highest levels, there’s no question that Lebron is untouchable. So, what’s Lebron’s gift or zone of genius?
I said it before that Jordan’s gift was a mindset that loved constant improvement. Lebron’s gift is the ability to remain disciplined for long durations.
He’s the GOAT of sustained self-discipline.
When you watch Lebron play or check out his highlights what you are witnessing is a man who has lived a life of self-discipline for years.
Lebron spends upwards of 1.5 million dollars per year caring for his body. He sleeps in an oxygen chamber, sets the temperature in hotel rooms to 68 to 70 degrees, and turns off all lights. He doesn’t buy mobile apps, turns of roaming on his cell phone when traveling, and uses free versions of software like Pandora all of this to control unesessary spending.
He’s never been involved in any off-court drama.
He married his high school sweetheart.
And he works out intensely during the off season.
You know what all this shows?
Discipline.
When you watch people like Lebron perform what we are actually witnessing is the power of concentrated self-discipline. Despite his size and speed, King James would not have been able to do what he’s done without discipline. That’s his secret sauce.
Where Jordan’s gift was a mindset for constant improvement, Lebron’s God-given talent is the ability to remain self-disciplined in perpetuity.
People who are great at what they do like Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Denzel Washington, you name it, all have demonstrated insane discipline in at least one area.
Is there any area of your life where moe discipline can help you?
by Andres Valdes | Leadership
Image credit: Zbysiu Rodak on Unsplash
Recently, I’ve had a few conversations with people who seem defeated as they describe all of the problems we are witnessing today like global instability, war, wealth inequality, political infighting, the environment, etc.
They’re so disappointed that the world doesn’t have the right leaders to solve these problems. I’d be sad too if I had that mindset, so I can’t blame them.
But what if we saw things differently?
What if we started seeing problems as opportunities in disguise that are just waiting for regular people to fill the leadership void?
The issues and problems we are so troubled by can be great opportunities waiting for regular people to show creativity, curiosity, and a committement to doing something.
And instead of thinking about EVERY problem, what would happen if we only focused on the specific problem we are best equipped to solve? Maybe there’s that one issue that drives you crazy or that you have particular skills that can be applied to this problem.
Here’s another way to think about this.
What problem are you best equipped to address with the gifts, resources, network, and abilities you have?
Geoffrey Canada, started New York City’s “Harlem’s Children Zone“, a charter school focusing on not just the student’s educational life, but their home environment and community too.
When learning as a child that Superman was a fictional character, Canada came to the realization that “Superman is not coming to save you.” Since then, Canada has applied this philosophy to his personal life too.
Canada started by focusing on one problem- ending intergenerational poverty in Central Harlem.
Sometimes without even knowing it, we find ourselves waiting for some superhero (politicians, teachers, our boss, or just anyone but me) to step forward and solve our biggest problems.
But what happens if this this superhero doesn’t show up?
What would happen if you stop looking for others to do something and instead become the superhero (leader) you are looking for?
No one else on this planet can take your place, think like you, or do what you can do. Not one of the billions of people alive has your combination of experiences, relationships, vision, personality, aspirations, and dreams.
As Doctor Seuss famously said,
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no alive that is Youer than you.”
What would happen if we started to see opportunities where most saw problems? How would this world be different if we saw ourselves as uniquely suited to solve very specific needs?
It’s possible, but it starts when we become the leaders we are looking for.
