Like a lot of other sports fans, I’ve been watching ESPN’s “The Last Dance” which is a 10 part documentary series about Michael Jordan’s last year with the Chicago Bulls. But I’m not just watching this from a sport’s perspective. I’m looking for ONE leadership nugget from each episode.
And let me get one thing out of the way. In no way do I believe that Michael Jordan is perfect and that we should copy him and his obsession with competition. But I do believe there’s so much we can learn from his wins and his losses.
[UPDATE: Due to the positive feedback I received on this series I turned it into a short book called “Lead Like Mike”. If you want to support me and read the ten posts all in one place you can now order it here.
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So, without giving too much away there was a scene in episode 1 where Michael Jordan, who at that time was rookie, observed his teammates participating in things he didn’t agree with. He was given an opportunity to join but instead, he literally walked away. He didn’t criticize anyone, complain, or report it.
Reflecting on that moment, Michael explained that as an unproven rookie, he felt he didn’t have a voice to speak out. So, he said, “I had to lead with my actions.”
“I had to lead with my actions.”
Michael Jordan
For the remainder of the season, Michael stayed in his room when he wasn’t practicing or playing. He avoided anything that was counterproductive to him becoming a better athlete and winning.
To some extent, Michael was an outcast early on for not joining the “cool kids” and for being so extreme. But that moment was such a pivotal experience in his life and career that he remembers it as being foundational.
Eventually, Michael would grow into a more vocal leader. But at the beginning, Jordan set himself apart from the others without even touching a basketball.
LESSON #1: You can lead without being THE leaderas long as you are A leader. You don’t need a voice or a platform to start leading. This is something I go into more detail in my bookLeader by Choice and it’s so critical.
You don’t need to be in a leadership role to start acting like the change you want to see. You just have to DECIDE you want to be A Leader. And you don’t need to wait for someone to give you a promotion or a fancy title because leadership is earned.
There are people in leadership positions who are NOT leading. And there are people without titles who ARE leading.
Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to lead since that day might not come. Even if you’re not “the boss” or in charge, you can lead. In fact, you have an opportunity and a responsibility to lead. And it starts by leading yourself.
The reality is that you can’t lead others until you’ve started leading yourself. If you don’t “walk the talk” you don’t have any credibility so why would anyone listen to you?
You can’t lead without being respected. And you can’t be respected if you can’t lead with your actions. Leaders are like magnates. Their actions repel some people, but they also attract the right people. But it starts with your actions.
So, are you leading now with your actions or are you waiting for permission?
If you like this post, and want to increase your leadership I.Q check out my book, “Leader by Choice.”
Some of the reviews:
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It was trash day. And I had forgotten. When my wife noticed, she let me know. So, as a world-not-so-famous leadership author, lecturer, and mentor I responded appropriately.
I said, “Oh, I didn’t know it was trash day. My new
teleworking schedule messed me up.”
I didn’t even have to think about what to say; I blamed it on the COVID19 lockdown. That excuse effortlessly rolled off my lips like poetry.
Did my loving wife give me a pass? Not for one second.
Passing the blame and making excuses is easy. And conversely, taking responsibility, especially when we fail, is hard. It feels unnatural.
Have you noticed most people want to lead, but few want the responsibilities that come along with it?
For example, the blame for the COVID19 pandemic is being been passed like a hot potato from the federal government, to the States, to city mayors, to the World Health Organization, to bats, to China, and at one point to college students on spring break in Miami. I even heard news commentators blame senior citizens for not volunteering to die ahead of others.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if someone stood out from the pack and said, “Going forward, I will take total responsibility for stopping this virus?”
Leadership is counterintuitive and at times countercultural.
Sometimes the natural involuntary responses that we feel are so right can be so wrong. Leadership requires the discipline to do the stuff we least want to do over and over again.
Accepting responsibility is counterintuitive.
It’s hard for most people to accept total responsibility
especially when things don’t work out. Accepting responsibility for failures
and mistakes makes us vulnerable and hurts our egos. And it shows everyone
something they already know.
Leaders make mistakes, even the good ones. But the more you want to lead, the more responsibility you must take.
A Free Education
Some leaders have convinced themselves they have to portray an image of perfection and knowing it all. Maybe this comes from our educational system. In his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki writes,
“In school we learn that mistakes are bad, and we are punished for making them. Yet, if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk.”
Taking total responsibility is crucial because that’s the key that opens the door to learning from and maximizing our mistakes and failures. If we don’t accept responsibility, we can’t learn.
Life is such that taking the harder option is usually the best decision over the long-term. And the easier option usually feels good in the moment but is unproductive in the long-term. This reminds of politician, radio host, and motivational speaker Les Brown’s quote,
“When you do what’s easy life becomes hard. And when you what’s hard life becomes easier.”
Even if you don’t take responsibility, you will still suffer the consequences. So, we might as well learn something from the experience, right? Don’t let that pain and failure go to waste.
Great leaders take responsibility not just for their results but those of their teams too without making any excuses. In the book Extreme Ownership: How US Navy Seals Lead and Win, the author, Jocko Willink explained,
“The most fundamental and important truths at the heart of Extreme Ownership: there are no bad teams, only bad leaders.”
Bias Towards Execution
If you want to lead a team, your family, or yourself you can start practicing the art of total responsibility. This means taking control of only those things YOU can control. When you accept total responsibility, you are putting pressure on yourself to do what needs to be done.
One of the most important things leaders do is execute. Taking total responsibility creates a bias towards getting things done and puts positive pressure on ourselves.
By taking total responsibility, you are removing any wiggle room for excuses to creep into your life. Making excuses is a habit and if unchecked can take over your life. Willink also explained in his book,
“Leaders must own everything in their world. There is no one else to blame.”
When leaders choose to accept total responsibility, they allow themselves the opportunity to win from failure.
So, what about you? Do you take total responsibility or have excuses become a habit?
Days before the COVID-19 lockdown started, I took my family to the Lion and Safari Park in South Africa (where we currently live). And it was amazing!
Our guide, named Dusty, blew our minds with her encyclopedic knowledge of animals especially the big cats. When observing the lions, Dusty asked us to focus on the white fury streak underneath their eyes. She explained the white fur provides lions with nature’s own version of night vision goggles.
The white fur reflects the moon’s light into the lion’s eyes at night which then widens their pupils like a camera lens in low light. When the pupils open wider, more light enters their eyes giving them better visibility or night vision.
Did you know humans and lions have nearly identical visibility during the day? But at night, lions see 8 times better than humans. Being nocturnal, they are most active at night and that’s when they do most of their hunting.
That’s me with some sleepy cubs. They sleep 14 hours per day. It was impossible to wake them.
The world is a different place today due to the deadly spread COVID-19. My grandmother asked me if these are the “end times”. Some are comparing this situation to those movies about deadly virus outbreaks. And many people are just overcome with fear, confusion, depression, and anxiety not about catching the virus, but more to do with their futures and finances.
The situation is dark; I’m not going to say otherwise. Even the experts don’t really know when this will end and or when a cure will be found.
We Need Vision To Overcome
There’s one thing I do know. We will come through it. One of the most amazing things about human beings– which separates us from animals– is not just our ability to survive dark times but our capability to OVERCOME during the worst of circumstances.
Did you know there’s a big difference between surviving and overcoming?
The dictionary defines ‘overcome’ as “to get the better of a struggle or conflict; conquer; defeat,” but surviving is defined as “existing or being alive.” In my book, I wrote a chapter titled “Choosing to Overcome” where I wrote,
“It’s not just about surviving failures and
tough experiences and moving on to whatever’s next. Surviving is not enough.”
This situation with COVID-19 is one where surviving is not good enough. We need more than a survivor mindset. We need vision to overcome.
But, who overcomes?
I’ve noticed it’s the people who are intentional. When it comes to life’s dark days and unforgiving adversity those circumstances either destroy you or you overcome them. There is no tie and there’s no trophy for participation.
Adversity can bring out the best in us, but also the worst. Personal development expert, Jim Rohn explains why this happens so simply when he said,
“We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.”
You can’t overcome by chance or by remaining neutral. COVID-19 has given us the opportunity or maybe forced us to become intentional about life and essential. And now just because life punched you in the face it doesn’t mean you have an excuse to give up, binge on Netflix every day all day, or live like victims.
In the words of Mike Tyson,
“Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth.”
Mike Tyson knocking out an opponent. Image courtesy of Uxplanet.org/
Be Intentional With Your 3 T’s
Now is a great time to maximize our 3 T’s:
-We can choose to invest our TIME instead of just spend it or “kill it”.
-We can be intentional about how we use our TALENTS (creativity, energy, intellect, etc).
-We can be more aware about how we invest our TREASURES (money, resources and relationships).
This is all about living on purpose and re-starting those dreams, life goals, and plans we put to the side when we started adulting or got punched in the face. COVID-19 is a wake-up call.
But to thrive, we have to be intentional about coming out of this dark hole in a better situation than when we started.
During one of the many times that Dusty blew mind on the tour she explained that like lions, humans have night vision too. After giving her a doubtful look, she said that while perusing her studies in animal conservation the students were taken on long walks through the game parks in complete darkness so they could learn how to see at night.
At first, she was skeptical, but with practice, she said she learned how to do it and now has some visibility in total darkness. Humans, she elaborated, have lost that sense because we’ve become so dependent on artificial light. We don’t know we have that ability because we don’t need it she explained.
(By the way, I Googled this night vision thing for humans Dusty said and found a lot of research that backs this up. It’s true!)
Like the lion, wouldn’t it be amazing if we had night vision and could become most active during the darkest time?
Well, we can.
We Need Night Vision To See Through the Darkness
In order for us to overcome during the darkest of times, we need night vision or the ability to have unwavering vision, focus, and drive during times of chaos and crushing adversity. I’ve been talking about the importance of vision for leaders for a long time, but that’s not enough.
We need night vision.
All of this reminds me of Ghandi’s quote,
“Be the change you want to see.”
Actor John Krasinski took it upon himself to start a YouTube channel called Some Good News. Why? Because he wanted to use time, talents, and treasures to be the change he wanted to see.
Use this time in the hole (quarantine/lockdown) to go back to your vision boards, list of dreams and goals. And if you don’t have any goals or plans, make them up. You got anything better to do right now? 🙂
Look for ways to be of service to those around you. You don’t need anyone’s permission to make a small impact. And you don’t have to change the world. But maybe you can make an impact in your home or in your community.
With night vision we can see past COVID-19 and see opportunities to be helpful and productive all around us.
Don’t let the dark cloud your vision; instead, use it as an advantage. One of my favorite Bible scripture says, “Teach us Lord to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” In other words, when we accept how short our lives are, we spend more of our time on the stuff that really matters.
At the end of each episode of Krasinski’s “Some Good News” show, he closes with this reminder,
“No matter how tough life can get there’s always good in the world.”
So, how’s your night vision right now? Can you find opportunities wherever you are?
If you need help becoming more intentional or need a break from Netflix check out my book’s print version or the audio version (my favorite).
And if you need some travel goals add the Lion and Safari Park to your list and make sure you ask for Dusty to give you a tour. This place is AMAZING and we can’t wait to return!
The lions get pretty close to the vehicles. Sometimes the males spray the trucks with their urine to send messages to the other lions in the park.
What’s the purpose of leadership? Why go through all the trouble when you can just coast in the background? Who is it for?
I was listening to a short speech by the CEO of Marriot, Arne Sorenson, where he was giving the company an update on how COVID-19 was negatively impacting the travel sector. This speech was an awesome example of how to communicate and lead during a crisis.
Sorenson was honest, empathic, vulnerable, but despite the dire situation in the travel industry, he remained hopeful. He conveyed that the employees have the resolve to come out on top.
There were some great nuggets on leadership, communication, teamwork, and vision we can take from his speech. We can stop there and that would be enough for the day.
But there’s more.
In May of 2019, Sorenson revealed he had stage 2 pancreatic cancer. Since then, he’s been undergoing cancer treatment, including chemotherapy.
He continued working but at some point stopped due to the treatment. Recently, he returned to his role as CEO to lead the company during this covid-19 mess.
When he first announced his cancer diagnosis last May he told his associates:
“In the meantime, I intend to continue working at the company I love. Let me make one request, look ahead with me. We have great work underway at Marriott. I am as excited by what we can accomplish together as I have ever been.”
I’m sure Sorenson is a wealthy guy so he probably doesn’t need the money. So, dude, why are you coming back at the worst time possible?
You can’t win. Are you a masochist?
Well, he did say he loves Marriot.
But there’s more.
He’s not back at work for himself. I suspect he loves his people; his team. And, by the way, it’s okay for leaders to love their people.
Sorenson’s communication is all about the team and overcoming challenges together. It seems to me that he’s there to SERVE his team and not the other way around.
Some people in leadership positions get this so wrong it’s insane! They believe that once they “make it to the top” that others are there for them. They think the team/employees/organization serves them.
I hate this mindset.
Leadership is not about YOU. It’s all about the people you are responsible for serving.
The purpose of leading will always be more about them than it is about you. The problem is when people confuse LEADING with RULING (like in royalty and monarchs).
If you have royal blood you can get away with that.
But leaders are here to solve one problem after another. As a leader, you have to be okay with that. Taking responsibility for problems is one of the leader’s major responsibilities.
Former Secretary of Defense and Secretary of State Colin Powel said,
“The day the soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”
Leadership is not as glamorous or as sexy as it seems in movies. Great leaders take responsibility for the people they lead and not the other way around (unless you’re royalty).
Leadership = more responsibility.
Despite his own medical challenges, Sorenson is assuming responsibility not just for the company, but for thousands of employees, at a time when he would be excused if he decided to walk away.
But when you really care about (or even love) your people, you don’t just walk away. You assume the responsibility.
Why?
Because you’re a leader. And because you know it’s not about you. This isn’t something you do for a higher salary, stock options, or to be famous. And you don’t have to be to the CEO of a major company to do this.
One of the opportunities from covid-19 is that we now have a bigger window to see what great leadership looks like.
“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
John Maxwell
Thanks to COVID19 the news is just an endless stream of empty store shelves, chaotic hospital scenes, speculations about a stock market crash, and cities that look like ghost towns.
A crisis can bring out the worst in us. But the most difficult and challenging situations are also the best for showing our humanity.
That’s where leaders like YOU come in.
Good leaders not only care; they demonstrate it with action. That’s empathy which is different from sympathy which is just feeling sorry for people.
Leadership isn’t complex. And often, great leadership is counter-cultural; it goes against the norms of the times and the circumstances.
So, at a time when most people, including myself, are only thinking of ourselves and our loved ones, we have an opportunity to be other-interested instead of just self-interested.
The question to ask ourselves is who can I help NOW and how?
Who is caring for the homeless now that churches are closed or these non-profit organizations don’t have volunteers?
Who is helping the doctors and nurses who are treating COVID patients and risking their lives daily?
How are animal shelters functioning now?
Who is volunteering at organizations that are focused on helping victims of sex trafficking and domestic abuse?
Who is helping the elderly who can’t drive themselves to the store?
(What can I do to better help my wife is who home with the kids all day now?) This is a personal one for me.
Instead of joining the panic, why don’t we turn COVID19 into an opportunity to show the best of our humanity? We don’t need huge gestures or lots of money. Sometimes, just one small act of kindness can make a huge impact in someone’s life.
If you’re a supervisor, can you take some time out of your day to check how your employees are doing? If your company/organization is closed call them at home.
Are there any small local businesses (restaurants, book shops, artists, plant shops, mechanic, etc) that are taking orders online?
Are there friends and family you haven’t spoken to in a while you can contact to ask how they are doing?
Any local charities or churches that need donations so they can continue helping others?
When things are going well we don’t need our leaders. The truth is leaders are here to do the hard stuff during the hardest of times. This is when we need leaders most.
Ifyou’re reading this, you’re A leader. Maybe you’re not THE leader of a huge organization, but you’re still A leader.
And if you think you can’t make an impact or that you’re not a leader then I’ll leave you with this quote:
If not you, then who?
If not now, then when?
Andrezj Kilokowski
So, as A leader, what is one thing you can do this week to turn this disaster into an opportunity?
