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It was trash day. And I had forgotten. When my wife noticed, she let me know. So, as a world-not-so-famous leadership author, lecturer, and mentor I responded appropriately.
I said, “Oh, I didn’t know it was trash day. My new teleworking schedule messed me up.”
I didn’t even have to think about what to say; I blamed it on the COVID19 lockdown. That excuse effortlessly rolled off my lips like poetry.
Did my loving wife give me a pass? Not for one second.
Passing the blame and making excuses is easy. And conversely, taking responsibility, especially when we fail, is hard. It feels unnatural.
Have you noticed most people want to lead, but few want the responsibilities that come along with it?
For example, the blame for the COVID19 pandemic is being been passed like a hot potato from the federal government, to the States, to city mayors, to the World Health Organization, to bats, to China, and at one point to college students on spring break in Miami. I even heard news commentators blame senior citizens for not volunteering to die ahead of others.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if someone stood out from the pack and said, “Going forward, I will take total responsibility for stopping this virus?”
Leadership is counterintuitive and at times countercultural.
Sometimes the natural involuntary responses that we feel are so right can be so wrong. Leadership requires the discipline to do the stuff we least want to do over and over again.
Accepting responsibility is counterintuitive.
It’s hard for most people to accept total responsibility especially when things don’t work out. Accepting responsibility for failures and mistakes makes us vulnerable and hurts our egos. And it shows everyone something they already know.
Leaders make mistakes, even the good ones. But the more you want to lead, the more responsibility you must take.
A Free Education
Some leaders have convinced themselves they have to portray an image of perfection and knowing it all. Maybe this comes from our educational system. In his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki writes,
“In school we learn that mistakes are bad, and we are punished for making them. Yet, if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk.”
Taking total responsibility is crucial because that’s the key that opens the door to learning from and maximizing our mistakes and failures. If we don’t accept responsibility, we can’t learn.
Life is such that taking the harder option is usually the best decision over the long-term. And the easier option usually feels good in the moment but is unproductive in the long-term. This reminds of politician, radio host, and motivational speaker Les Brown’s quote,
“When you do what’s easy life becomes hard. And when you what’s hard life becomes easier.”
Even if you don’t take responsibility, you will still suffer the consequences. So, we might as well learn something from the experience, right? Don’t let that pain and failure go to waste.
Great leaders take responsibility not just for their results but those of their teams too without making any excuses. In the book Extreme Ownership: How US Navy Seals Lead and Win, the author, Jocko Willink explained,
“The most fundamental and important truths at the heart of Extreme Ownership: there are no bad teams, only bad leaders.”
Bias Towards Execution
If you want to lead a team, your family, or yourself you can start practicing the art of total responsibility. This means taking control of only those things YOU can control. When you accept total responsibility, you are putting pressure on yourself to do what needs to be done.
One of the most important things leaders do is execute. Taking total responsibility creates a bias towards getting things done and puts positive pressure on ourselves.
By taking total responsibility, you are removing any wiggle room for excuses to creep into your life. Making excuses is a habit and if unchecked can take over your life. Willink also explained in his book,
“Leaders must own everything in their world. There is no one else to blame.”
When leaders choose to accept total responsibility, they allow themselves the opportunity to win from failure.
So, what about you? Do you take total responsibility or have excuses become a habit?