Image Credit: Clutchsports.com
[UPDATE: Due to the positive feedback I received on this series I turned it into a short book called “Lead Like Mike”. If you want to support me and read the ten posts all in one place you can now order the book here.]
So, now we’re on episode 7 of the ten-part documentary series “The Last Dance” about Michael Jordan’s last year with the Chicago Bulls. Part 6 was about the importance of competing against ourselves.
Are You Doing What’s Right or What’s Easy?
Last blog post I said the first word that comes to mind when I think of Michael Jordan is competitive. But “The Last Dance” documentary gave us a window where we can see a different side of Jordan. Some saw him as mean, unfriendly, and even a workplace bully.
Referring to his competitive drive in episode 7, Jordan is asked, “Through the years has that intensity come at the experience of being perceived as a nice guy?” To which Jordan responded, “Winning has a price. And leadership has a price. I pulled people when they didn’t want to be pulled. I challenged people when they didn’t want to be challenged.”
Winning has a price. And leadership has a price.
Michael Jordan
Jordan explained that he felt he had to be tough on his teammates to bring out their best so they could win championships. Could a different leadership approach have worked? Maybe. But in this episode, some of his teammates said that while they didn’t personally enjoy his leadership style they believed it was effective in producing championship level players.
There were a few uncomfortable scenes in episode 7 where Jordan was taunting and pushing one of his teammates to step up his game. There were also a lot of scenes where Jordan was alone. Are these two things unrelated? I don’t think so.
James Jordan, MJ’s father, was his best friend.
Okay, so am I saying we need to be lone wolves or jerks to be great leaders? Absolutely not. I would never defend bully behavior- from anyone.
Being mean is just not in my DNA; it’s not authentic to who I am. And I don’t believe we should copy what someone else did just because it appears to have worked. That’s called “survivorship bias” which is a logical distortion of our understanding that happens when we assume that by looking at someone’s success, while ignoring their failures, we know how they succeeded.
Leadership is Situational
The question we need to ask ourselves is, “What type of leader is needed in this situation to get the results desired?” This is an uncomfortable question because it could mean that we will need to do things that make us uncomfortable or don’t feel good.
Was Jordan being a mean jerk just for fun? No. He was strategic and intentional about it. Did he take it too far at times? Yes. Here’s an example.
But something to consider is that people who know what they want and are putting maximum effort into getting it aren’t necessarily described as “nice” and aren’t looking for more friends.
They’re on a mission. Join them or get out of the way. These people are determined, passionate, ambitious, focused, goal-oriented, or just savages but being nice is not the main goal.
Leaders cannot afford to be nice and agreeable all the time because there are some types of people who are programmed to take advantage of others. And some situations require disagreement to find the best option. We don’t have to be nice, but we can be kind. And there’s a difference between the two.
Jordan is right; leadership comes at a price. And if you are not prepared to pay that price you are not ready to accept the responsibilities that come with being a leader.
The price might be conflict, speaking up when you rather stay quiet, confronting others, defending an unpopular idea, or staying quiet when you want to speak. It depends on the situation.
But the more I write about leadership the more patterns I see on how contrarian it is. I’ve been in situations where being a nice guy made things worse. The first time I fired an employee was really difficult for me. I’ve had to counsel employees and those aren’t fun conversations. And I’ve had to manage employees who hate me.
The common thread in those examples is doing stuff I didn’t “feel” like doing. Sometimes leadership is a battle between two selves- the side that wants to listen to your feelings (your heart) and the side that wants to listen to logic (your brain). So, which do you listen to- head or heart?
Leadership is a constant tug of war between feelings and facts and emotions and logic. In sum, leaders are here to do the hard stuff. We’re supposed to analyze situations with both our heads and hearts.
But our response should be based on doing what’s right and not what’s the easiest thing to do or what feels good.
And usually, during hard situations, the best response is usually the hardest action to take.
LEADERSHIP NUGGET #7: Do what’s right and not what feels good.
This principle doesn’t just apply to work or business environments. It’s the same thing in our personal lives too. As the leader in my home, it means there are times I have to listen to criticisms about myself when I don’t want to. I have to admit my mistakes. I have hard conversations that I’d rather avoid. The battle between doing what I feel like doing and what I have to do doesn’t stop when I get home.
The price of leadership is that there are times when you will be the bad guy. Sometimes you’ll have to deliver bad news or you’ll have to speak up when you really want to stay silent. And other times you’ll have to admit your mistakes. These are all situations where we as leaders will have to go against our natural instincts and do what’s right instead of what feels good.
Our feelings are misleading. Feelings want to keep us in the safe zone away from all the danger, conflicts, hard conversations, potential failures, and setbacks.
But leadership comes with a price. And if you try avoiding, there will be consequences. This is how psychologist Jordan Peterson describes it, “You’re going to pay a price for every bloody thing you do and everything you don’t do. You don’t get to choose to not pay a price. You get to choose which poison you’re going to take.”
Effective leadership means there are moments when we will be totally exposed, vulnerable, and scared. And that’s okay. Do the hard stuff anyway cause whether you act or not there’s always a price to pay.
There has never been a greater need for good leaders in our homes, communities, and governments. If you like this series on Michael Jordan, check out my book, Leader by Choice.
Be the leader you are looking for.
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