Image courtesy of NBA.com
[UPDATE: Due to the positive feedback I received on this series I turned it into a short book called “Lead Like Mike”. If you want to support me and read the ten posts all in one place you can now order the book here.]
You can check out my post on episode 7 here. The principle I picked up on was about the importance of doing what’s right over what feels good. In my write up for episode 6, I talked about how Jordan’s competitive drive sometimes went too far and now it catches up with him.
Are You Responding or Reacting?
In episode 8 Jordan had retired and spent nearly two-years away to pursue the childhood dream of playing baseball. After the baseball season was cut short due to a player strike Jordan slowly returned to basketball towards the end of the season but they lost in the playoffs to the Orlando Magic in 1995. That loss was all the fuel he needed to remind himself of how much he hated to lose.
As if losing in the playoffs wasn’t enough motivation, that short season Jordan changed his number to 45 but after the loss to the Orlando Magic, one of the opposing players told reporters that “Number 45 is not Number 23”- meaning that the new Jordan can’t play like the old one.
So, the following season Jordan had a chip on his shoulder. And he kept a mental checklist of everyone who wronged him so every negative comment or sign of disrespect was like a log added to a fire.
Frustrated from the loss and what he saw as complacency from new players on the team, Jordan pushed his teammates more than ever.
Explaining the situation in episode 8 Jordan said “I wanted them to understand what it felt like to be in the trenches,” he explained. “If you don’t understand, then you’re not going to respond when the war starts. Steve [Kerr] and Luc [Longley], all those guys, they come in riding high on the three championships and they had no f—— thing to do with it. We were s— when I got [to the Bulls in 1984]. We elevated to be a championship-quality team. There were certain standards we had to live by. You don’t come pussyfooting around, joking and kidding around. You have to come in ready to play.”
During training camp, he continued to play hard and push his teammates as much as possible. At one practice, Jordan, who is 6-feet-6 and over 200 lbs., is covering Steve Kerr who is 6-foot-3 and gets upset with the fouls coach Pill Jackson is calling on him.
So, Jordan responds by giving Kerr an intentionally hard foul. Instead of just taking it and bowing down to his Airness, Kerr punches Jordan right in the chest.
Then, in one of the lowest and most infamous moments of his career Jordan explains his reaction to Kerr’s punch. “I haul off and hit him right in the f—— eye,” Jordan admitted with disappointment. “Phil throws me out of practice. I’m in the shower and I’m like, ‘I just beat up the littlest guy on the f—— court.’ I felt about this small.” Jordan held his finger and his thumb about an inch apart.
“I called Steve,” he added. “I apologized: ‘Look, man, it had nothing to do with you. I feel bad.”
Jordan lost control of his emotions and responded violently.
LEADERSHIP PRINCIPLE #8: If you master your emotions you’ll never be a slave to them.
One of the fine lines that leaders have to balance is between feeling the full spectrum of emotions, but not letting them dictate how we react. The moment we lose control of our emotions we’ve lost control of our response to life and its circumstances.
The best explanation comes from psychologist and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Victor Frankl
Emotional intelligence is real and critical.
This doesn’t mean we can’t get upset, angry, or frustrated. I don’t believe in hiding or ignoring what feel like stoicism. Instead of suppressing our emotions, it’s better to learn how to use manage them and use them so that no outside force can dictate our responses.
Think of it like the martial art Judo. Ju means “gentle” and “do” means way. In Judo you use the opponents’ mass and energy against them. You don’t simply react to attacks emotionally, head-on or blindly just because you are being provoked or even hit.
You assess the situation to determine if a response is necessary and if so, what level of response is needed. In short, when you control your emotions you can respond intelligently instead of react emotionally.
When we react, we just do what feels good or natural in the moment like an automatic involuntary response to external stimuli. But when we respond, we’re in full control of ourselves.
So, are you in control of your emotions or do your emotions control you?
If you like this series, and want to increase your leadership I.Q check out my book, “Leader by Choice.”
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