3 Things Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us About Influence (Part 3)

Photo by John-Paul Henry

Welcome back to this series on the three things we can learn from Nelson Mandela on influence. If you missed them, check out part 1 and 2. The idea for this series came from the book Playing the Enemy by John Carlin which was turned into the movie “Invictus”.

Of course, the book was 100 times better than the movie.

After Mandela’s release from prison, the hard work of unifying a country on the brink of a civil war along racial lines was the priority. With a thirst for revenge in the minds of many it was Mandela’s hard task of not only unifying the divided country, but doing so in a way that respected both Afrikaners and black South Africans.

Not an easy task.

Mandela’s conciliatory tone, his willingness to work with the former President, and other hardline apartheid leaders was not easily accepted by his political party nor most blacks.

But Mandela believed that to prevent the country from falling apart he needed to get everyone on board and this meant working with those who were once his enemy.

Mandela, more than anyone else, would not have been blamed if he pursued an agenda of revenge upon his release, but his 27 years in jail led him to a softer approach.

He believed it was more conducive to be the catalyst that seeks not only to forgive first but to bring out the humanity even in those who defended the brutal apartheid system. Mandela forgave BEFORE without anyone asking forgiveness.

Mandela’s decision-making was not based on polls, being popular, or political calculations.

It was based on something much simpler:

Doing the right thing.

But how do you know if you’re doing the right thing?

You know you’re doing the right thing when the decision is hard in the moment, but promises to make the situation better in the long-term. Conversely, poor decisions are usually disguised as the easy choice among hard options, but offers little to no benefit in the long-term.

Years ago, I met the CEO of a company at a party and asked him for any piece of advice. After rolling his eyes back and thinking about my question he said something along the lines of,

Do the right thing and you’ll never have to worry about the decisions you made.

Doing the right thing is about character. And character is a skill, which means it can be developed and even strengthen.

In other words, doing the right thing is something that requires constant and deliberate practice.

But how do we practice character?

I’m not 100 certain, but one thing I found that helps is doing the right thing even in those situations we feel are insignificant.

Is it easy?

No way, Jose!

But we can become intentional about doing it.

Unfortunately, doing the right thing is not popular, easy, or fun. But with practice, it gives us a sense of satisfaction and peace we couldn’t get otherwise.

We sleep better too when we know we’ve done right by others.

I recently heard someone say that once he found a note on his parked car. The note was from the owner of another vehicle who had scratched his car on the way out. When the owner of the scratched car called the person who left the note he asked,

“Why did you leave the note? You could have left without saying anything.”

The man who left the note said it was important for him to model the right the thing to do for his kids who were watching him.

Doing the right thing has a ripple effect.

Having character not only impacts our lives, but it affects others too. If we get into the habit of doing the right thing we will become people who build a reputation based on unshakeable character.

Those types of reputations are priceless. You can’t buy character.

Doing the right thing doesn’t mean we’re perfect. We are human after all, but it does mean we’re trying to live honest lives.

So, how important is it for you to do the right thing in your daily life?

Simple But Hard Advice I Received From A CEO

by Andres Valdes | Leadership

Asking for advice is a great tool, but you have to know how and when to do it. Once I was at a party and decided to start a conversation with a guy sitting next to me. It turns out he’s the CEO for a major airport.

I didn’t even know airports had CEOs, so I learned something right from the beginning of this conversation!

Anyways, so we chatted for a bit but before leaving, I asked him if he could share one piece of advice. I said,

“You’ve obviously been successful in your career. What’s one piece of career advice you can share with me that has helped you get to where you are today?”

I love asking this question because most people are eager to share what they’ve learned and it makes people stop to reflect for a few seconds and that’s when you make a connection.

That question also makes people feel special, which is crucial in the connection process. But for some reason, I was expecting him to say something really deep and profound. Instead, he said,

“Always do the right thing because you’ll never have to worry about what you did. And you’ll always be able to sleep well at night.”

Most of the time we expect that the biggest life-changing stuff will come from radically new ways of doing things or new information that will completely blow our mind, but leadership is based on small principles that build up like a snowball when practiced constantly.

I love principles because they are timeless and create a level playing field in the sense that they’re available to anyone willing to implement them. You don’t need a degree, wealth, or connections to do the right thing. But it means you have to be willing to do hard things like having integrity.

What I’ve noticed in my leadership journey is that doing the hard thing is a theme that keeps coming up. It’s a simple choice, but the impact shows if you’re leading or not.

It’s always the right time to do the right thing. Are you doing the right thing when you have the chance?