Leadership Lessons from Michael Jordan’s “The Last Dance” Episode 7

Leadership Lessons from Michael Jordan’s “The Last Dance” Episode 7

by | Leadership

Image Credit: Clutchsports.com

[UPDATE: Due to the positive feedback I received on this series I turned it into a short book called “Lead Like Mike”. If you want to support me and read the ten posts all in one place you can now order the book here.]

So, now we’re on episode 7 of the ten-part documentary series “The Last Dance” about Michael Jordan’s last year with the Chicago Bulls. Part 6 was about the importance of competing against ourselves.

Are You Doing What’s Right or What’s Easy?

Last blog post I said the first word that comes to mind when I think of Michael Jordan is competitive. But “The Last Dance” documentary gave us a window where we can see a different side of Jordan. Some saw him as mean, unfriendly, and even a workplace bully. 

Referring to his competitive drive in episode 7, Jordan is asked, “Through the years has that intensity come at the experience of being perceived as a nice guy?” To which Jordan responded, “Winning has a price. And leadership has a price. I pulled people when they didn’t want to be pulled. I challenged people when they didn’t want to be challenged.”

Winning has a price. And leadership has a price.

Michael Jordan

Jordan explained that he felt he had to be tough on his teammates to bring out their best so they could win championships. Could a different leadership approach have worked? Maybe. But in this episode, some of his teammates said that while they didn’t personally enjoy his leadership style they believed it was effective in producing championship level players.

There were a few uncomfortable scenes in episode 7 where Jordan was taunting and pushing one of his teammates to step up his game. There were also a lot of scenes where Jordan was alone. Are these two things unrelated? I don’t think so.

  • James Jordan, MJ’s father, was his best friend.

Okay, so am I saying we need to be lone wolves or jerks to be great leaders? Absolutely not. I would never defend bully behavior- from anyone.

Being mean is just not in my DNA; it’s not authentic to who I am. And I don’t believe we should copy what someone else did just because it appears to have worked. That’s called “survivorship bias” which is a logical distortion of our understanding that happens when we assume that by looking at someone’s success, while ignoring their failures, we know how they succeeded.

Leadership is Situational

The question we need to ask ourselves is, “What type of leader is needed in this situation to get the results desired?” This is an uncomfortable question because it could mean that we will need to do things that make us uncomfortable or don’t feel good.

Was Jordan being a mean jerk just for fun? No. He was strategic and intentional about it.  Did he take it too far at times? Yes. Here’s an example.

But something to consider is that people who know what they want and are putting maximum effort into getting it aren’t necessarily described as “nice” and aren’t looking for more friends.

They’re on a mission. Join them or get out of the way. These people are determined, passionate, ambitious, focused, goal-oriented, or just savages but being nice is not the main goal.

Leaders cannot afford to be nice and agreeable all the time because there are some types of people who are programmed to take advantage of others. And some situations require disagreement to find the best option. We don’t have to be nice, but we can be kind. And there’s a difference between the two.

Jordan is right; leadership comes at a price. And if you are not prepared to pay that price you are not ready to accept the responsibilities that come with being a leader.

The price might be conflict, speaking up when you rather stay quiet, confronting others, defending an unpopular idea, or staying quiet when you want to speak. It depends on the situation.  

But the more I write about leadership the more patterns I see on how contrarian it is. I’ve been in situations where being a nice guy made things worse. The first time I fired an employee was really difficult for me. I’ve had to counsel employees and those aren’t fun conversations. And I’ve had to manage employees who hate me.

The common thread in those examples is doing stuff I didn’t “feel” like doing. Sometimes leadership is a battle between two selves- the side that wants to listen to your feelings (your heart) and the side that wants to listen to logic (your brain). So, which do you listen to- head or heart?  

Leadership is a constant tug of war between feelings and facts and emotions and logic. In sum, leaders are here to do the hard stuff. We’re supposed to analyze situations with both our heads and hearts.

But our response should be based on doing what’s right and not what’s the easiest thing to do or what feels good.

And usually, during hard situations, the best response is usually the hardest action to take.  

LEADERSHIP NUGGET #7: Do what’s right and not what feels good.  

This principle doesn’t just apply to work or business environments. It’s the same thing in our personal lives too. As the leader in my home, it means there are times I have to listen to criticisms about myself when I don’t want to. I have to admit my mistakes. I have hard conversations that I’d rather avoid. The battle between doing what I feel like doing and what I have to do doesn’t stop when I get home.

The price of leadership is that there are times when you will be the bad guy. Sometimes you’ll have to deliver bad news or you’ll have to speak up when you really want to stay silent. And other times you’ll have to admit your mistakes. These are all situations where we as leaders will have to go against our natural instincts and do what’s right instead of what feels good.  

Our feelings are misleading. Feelings want to keep us in the safe zone away from all the danger, conflicts, hard conversations, potential failures, and setbacks.

But leadership comes with a price. And if you try avoiding, there will be consequences. This is how psychologist Jordan Peterson describes it, “You’re going to pay a price for every bloody thing you do and everything you don’t do. You don’t get to choose to not pay a price. You get to choose which poison you’re going to take.”

Effective leadership means there are moments when we will be totally exposed, vulnerable, and scared. And that’s okay. Do the hard stuff anyway cause whether you act or not there’s always a price to pay.

There has never been a greater need for good leaders in our homes, communities, and governments. If you like this series on Michael Jordan, check out my book, Leader by Choice.

Be the leader you are looking for.

Some of the book reviews:

—“I think everyone can benefit from reading this, but especially those who feel they are held back by their past.”

—“I read a lot of leadership books but few are as accessible, personal, and action-oriented as this one.”

—“This was just the book I needed (as someone who has been in middle management for a while, but feeling stuck. Mid life!).” 

3 Things Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us About Influence (Part 3)

3 Things Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us About Influence (Part 3)

by | Leadership

3 Things Nelson Mandela Can Teach Us About Influence (Part 3)

Photo by John-Paul Henry

Welcome back to this series on the three things we can learn from Nelson Mandela on influence. If you missed them, check out part 1 and 2. The idea for this series came from the book Playing the Enemy by John Carlin which was turned into the movie “Invictus”.

 Of course, the book was 100 times better than the movie. 

After Mandela’s release from prison, the hard work of unifying a country on the brink of a civil war along racial lines was the priority. With a thirst for revenge in the minds of many it was Mandela’s hard task of not only unifying the divided country, but doing so in a way that respected both Afrikaners and black South Africans.

Not an easy task.

Mandela’s conciliatory tone, his willingness to work with the former President, and other hardline apartheid leaders was not easily accepted by his political party nor most blacks.

But Mandela believed that to prevent the country from falling apart he needed to get everyone on board and this meant working with those who were once his enemy.

Mandela, more than anyone else, would not have been blamed if he pursued an agenda of revenge upon his release, but his 27 years in jail led him to a softer approach.

He believed it was more conducive to be the catalyst that seeks not only to forgive first but to bring out the humanity even in those who defended the brutal apartheid system.  Mandela forgave BEFORE without anyone asking forgiveness.

Mandela’s decision-making was not based on polls, being popular, or political calculations.

It was based on something much simpler:

Doing the right thing.

 

But how do you know if you’re doing the right thing?

You know you’re doing the right thing when the decision is hard in the moment, but promises to make the situation better in the long-term. Conversely, poor decisions are usually disguised as the easy choice among hard options, but offers little to no benefit in the long-term.

Years ago, I met the CEO of a company at a party and asked him for any piece of advice. After rolling his eyes back and thinking about my question he said something along the lines of,

Do the right thing and you’ll never have to worry about the decisions you made.

Doing the right thing is about character. And character is a skill, which means it can be developed and even strengthen.   

In other words, doing the right thing is something that requires constant and deliberate practice.  

But how do we practice character?

I’m not 100 certain, but one thing I found that helps is doing the right thing even in those situations we feel are insignificant.

Is it easy?

No way, Jose!

But we can become intentional about doing it.

Unfortunately, doing the right thing is not popular, easy, or fun. But with practice, it gives us a sense of satisfaction and peace we couldn’t get otherwise. 

We sleep better too when we know we’ve done right by others.

I recently heard someone say that once he found a note on his parked car. The note was from the owner of another vehicle who had scratched his car on the way out. When the owner of the scratched car called the person who left the note he asked,

“Why did you leave the note? You could have left without saying anything.” 

The man who left the note said it was important for him to model the right the thing to do for his kids who were watching him.

Doing the right thing has a ripple effect.

Having character not only impacts our lives, but it affects others too. If we get into the habit of doing the right thing we will become people who build a reputation based on unshakeable character.

Those types of reputations are priceless. You can’t buy character.

Doing the right thing doesn’t mean we’re perfect. We are human after all, but it does mean we’re trying to live honest lives.

So, how important is it for you to do the right thing in your daily life?

What I Told My Children After The Elections

What I Told My Children After The Elections

by | Leadership

“The two most important decisions you can make in life are:1) Who you will follow and 2) Who you will marry.”

I heard a pastor say that quote years ago and I was reminded of it today. I’m sorry to disappoint, but this post is not about politics, candidates, or political parties. It’s all about character.

It’s 2:52 AM, the night after the elections, and I can’t sleep.

My body wants to rest, but my thoughts are like a broken faucet with an annoying drip that doesn’t stop.  My mind is processing the elections, the unending social media reactions, the political pundits’ commentaries, etc. It’s like I’m holding the door shut, but all of this stuff is trying to burst in.

Instead of adding more political commentary or reaction, which I’m sick of, I want to focus on what I told my daughters during dinner.

My daughter, who is in elementary school, was sharing with my wife and I some of the political remarks she overheard her friend say.  She seemed confused and looking for a reaction from us to see which way her young mind should go.

I didn’t respond to her comments. Instead, I re-directed the conversation where it matters. I asked her not to get distracted by appearances. We’re not here to judge, I said.

I shared with her the quote above and then asked her to focus on character.

When you want to decide who to hang out with, who to marry, who to follow, who to be influenced by, or what type of person you want to become, I explained, focus on  character. It’s an invisible quality that speaks volumes.

The media has dissected every word, gesture, and tweet from these Presidential candidates with the hopes of convincing us that said actions were right or wrong, ethical or unethical, legal or illegal. I don’t need the FBI, the Supreme Court, or the media to determine where my family’s core values.

Thanks, but I got this covered.

The most important thing I learned from these elections is how important it is for parents to define, discuss, and live out their own core values. Politicians will come and go, but the example parents give will last a last time.  Regardless of who sleeps in the White House, I am responsible for defining my family’s core values.

If you’re a parent, model the behavior you want your children to follow and don’t outsource it with your vote. That’s how we build true character.